Prince Charming Diaries vol. 3 DOWP Part 2

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+JMJ+

Diary of a Working Prince

Part 2

Sproutling, 3, Year of the Green Horse

Entry Two,

“Why me” is an excellent way of answering any question, particularly when it will get a proper response. I never get a proper response. We were leaving for Olympus today when things hit the bottom. Ares, Hermes, Apollo and five of Nereus' courtiers started a bloody battle in the great Hall. Hades of course made things worse by calling them all names that no one would want to repeat. Aphrodite sat on a chair and watched the whole thing, with her perfect lips parted in pretended horror. It took the Sharks to pull them apart.

“That is enough!” Zeus flamed up, “Lady Aphrodite comes with me to Olympus.” If looks could kill Hera would have ended all the trouble right then and there, by shooting a venomous look at the lady and shriveling her up on the spot.

“We don't want her in Olympus.” Hera retorted, “Having her there will make everyone forget themselves. I say toss her back where she came from.” Aphrodite gasped and fainted lightly against the back of her throne. Immediately she was beset by eager young men fanning her and chafing her wrists.

Zeus drew the Thunderer and slammed it into the marble floor. The impact of the thunder against the density of the water was like a tidal wave and swept everyone off their feet. No one dared approach Zeus when in a wrath.

“Aphrodite shall be married and so any this despicable display of manners.” he roared.

“Chose me.” Ares said eagerly, as he sprang to his feet.

“You are not old enough!” Apollo said cuttingly. Ares drew his deadly rapier. The same rapier that would never let it's master die, and killed all that it was commanded to kill.

“She will marry Hephaestus!” Zeus barked, cutting off the early death of Apollo.

Everyone turned and stared at me. I became aware of the fact that my jaw was hanging open. I snapped it shut.

“What?” I squawked.

“You cannot give the lady Aphrodite to someone as ugly as Hephaestus.” Ares wailed, “She should be given to a man who matches her physically. Ares looked as if he worked out all day to build his body like one of the statues of the old gods. He worked on his appearance more than any other man that I knew of. Aphrodite should have been given to him.

“You have no cause to insult, Hephaestus.” Poseidon growled, and took a step towards Ares. Anger was radiating off of him and turning the water around me, stale. I winced. This was clearly going to be a hot topic for a long time. A mental picture of Aphrodite entering my house, entered my mind. I shuddered. It was far from pleasant. The idea of someone scorning my little corner of the universe, hurt. I loved my forge, more than the vast halls of the Underwater Realm or Olympus.

It looked as if Poseidon and Ares were about to come to blows, I hastily intervened and got between them. Poseidon unclenched his fists and took a deep breath, obviously trying to relax. Ares on the other hand tossed his proud head scornfully.

“I will fight anyone and anything!” he growled.

“Then I will see you locked in a box in the deepest corner of the Underworld!” Zeus snarled.

“I believe that could be arranged.” Hades smirked, as he cracked his knuckles and eyed Ares.

“You will have to fight me first!” Ares roared, and twirled his rapier.

“I have no objections if Ares would rather marry the lady.” I said softly, “I do not want to be the cause of such discord.”

“It is precisely because of that reason, that I would make you her husband.” Zeus said sternly, “Giving her to Ares is tempting fate.” Ares scowled. Everyone else nodded. Clearly, they understood Zeus' decision. At that moment, I never wished for anything as much as I wished to be as hot tempered as Ares. I would not be the peaceable terms to a dilemma. Usually I did not mind being taken advantage of. But this was ridiculous. But I bowed my head.

“So be it.” I whispered. Aphrodite was staring at me, with a rather unpleasant look on her face.

Farewell,

Hephaestus

Low Waters, 1, Year of the Green Horse

Entry Three,

Aphrodite and my wedding took place on Mount Olympus today. It is a whole season since she first came to Sea World. I was desperately homesick for my forge but unable to return there. My business was sadly neglected. But I had to swallow my disappointment in terms of diplomatic peace. Even worse I had to spend all my time mingling with other people, with never a moment to myself. Ares was trying to catch me alone in a dark passage, I had to make sure he did not give me the chance. I could never defend myself against him. He could crack me in two with one hand. Because I was always staying in such a large company it took my several weeks to notice that I was being followed. It became apparent when one of Poseidon's sisters-in-law took to following my every move without even trying to be discreet. I wondered if Poseidon had put her up to it. The next day one of Zeus' friends was tailing me and so on. I stopped mingling and took to the less crowded chambers. There was always someone tailing me from the distance. But the only time they ever approached me, was if I was passing Ares. It was rather disconcerting to know that my little brother was searching for the golden opportunity to kill me.

Aphrodite made a beautiful bride, of course. She was garbed in white and silver with her hair cascading down her back like a river of liquid gold. Unfortunately she looked far from pleased. It made me uneasy to know that she would have liked Ares to knife me from behind. I felt incredibly dumpy and foolish up there with her. I was the wrong bridegroom and everyone knew it. I could never make someone like her happy. I was a useless cripple. All the fine clothes in the world could not hide the fact.

Farewell,

Hephaestus

Low Waters, 3, Year of the Green Horse

Entry Four,

Aphrodite and I started home today. She has been silent all day. I think she would never speak to me if she could help it. The idea of having to live with someone who doesn't particularly like you, is not very pleasant.

Farewell,

Hephaestus

Low Waters, 4, Year of the Green Horse

Entry Five,

I nearly burst into tears as the horses climbed the last rise, and we looked down into the valley where my beautiful little cottage and forge is located. Someone had been weeding my garden. Possibly Penelope. I am on friendly turns with Midas and his children, Penelope and Menelaus. I know Poseidon had a lot of trouble in his territory with Nereus, but I seem to get along fine with everyone. Midas did not seem to be to bothered by me, but when he accidentally turned Penelope into a golden statue I had stepped in an intervened. I had to steal water from Styx at grave personal risk to save her. This was before Hades came to terms with Zeus being the Overlord of Sea World instead of him. But Penelope was worth every bit of suffering. Everyone adored her, nobles and peasants alike.

“Do not tell me that is where you live.” Aphrodite gasped. She must have forgotten that she was not speaking to me. I eyed her coldly.

“Yes, that is where I live.” I said, “It has been my home for six years and will likely be my home for six more.” I was scandalized by how rude I sounded. It was probably a shock for her to go from being a great lady to the wife of a cripple who lived in abstract poverty.

We rode down into the seemingly deserted valley. I knew that there were houses scattered everywhere. But I had chosen a place to live where I could see none of them. But if I walked about five feet from the front door, I would be able to see two or three my neighbors. I dismounted clumsily. I had no natural grace. Being a cripple did not help. Aphrodite dismounted, as if she was trying on purpose to make me feel clumsier. I did not mind. I knew my limitations and abilities. I took the two horses by the bridal and stabled them in the little leanto shed. I made sure they had plenty of hay. I would cut fresh grass for them later. I filled up their water trough and took their saddles and bridals off. I rubbed them down with a soft brush and blanketed them. When they looked suitably comfortable I decided it was time to see to my own comforts.

On the way into the cottage, I took a detour to fill two buckets with water. One for drinking and one for washing. I hoped the place was not to filthy. I was not always concerned with cleanliness. I could not remember if I had done anything spectacular before closing shop for Poseidon's wedding. But it was to late now. How was I supposed to know that I would be bringing a wife home.

I hesitated outside the door. It had once been painted a brilliant red. But now the paint was faded peeling and it looked rather unappealing, no pun intended. I pushed open the door and ducked through the low entrance. Aphrodite stood in the middle of the floor, her beautiful silver cloak gathered around her slender shoulders. There was a look of utmost scorn on her face.

“It will be warmer when I get a fire going.” I said nervously. It was unusually cool for the Low Waters season. But not really cold enough to want a roaring fire, which is what I had in mind for the forge. What was I supposed to do with her?

“A fire?” she said acidly, than laughed. I shivered.

I carried the two buckets through the forge and into the living quarters. I hung the drinking water bucket from it's stationary hook on the beam near the door. Then I hurled the contents of the second bucket over the dusty table.

“What are you doing?” Aphrodite gasped.

“Cleaning.” I said shortly, as water cascaded onto the floor.

“It's filthy in here.” she responded coldly.

“No one has been here for a season and a half.” I said. This was not quite accurate. There was a basket of food on the shelf above the little cooking hearth. I took it off the shelf and peered inside. There were two loaves of bread, a pot of Buckletooth Jam, a rasher of dried bacon, three or four dried fish and some wraps of sharp cheese. There was a little note from the family of Prince Daedalus. They had heard I was coming back and hoped I would find the food useful until I could replenish supplies.

“Look Aphrodite.” I cried, “My friends sent food.” I held the basket out towards her. She turned her perfect nose up at the food. I flushed. I set the basket on the table and located a cloth to wipe the table dry. The cloth was dusty and left stains on the table. It would have to stay that way until I could get the laundry washed. I used the hem of my cloak to wipe the chairs off. I had three chairs. A rocking chair in the corner, a stool hanging from the rafters and a straight backed chair, which I used to sit on at the table.

Aphrodite picked up the hem of her dressed and picked her way through the water, dirt and straw on the floor. She entered the bedroom and looked around. I grabbed the twig broom and swept most of debris from the floor out the door and into the shop.

“This place is filthy.” Aphrodite said in a chilly voice, “Do you expect me to sleep on that rat's nest?”

“You could clean it.” I suggested. She snaked her head out the door, with a terrible look on her face. I inadvertently took a step backwards and hit the wall.

“You do not honestly expect me to do work?” she gasped, “I thought you were the brother of Zeus himself. Surely you have slaves.”

“Zeus does not have slaves!” I snapped, regaining my composure, “He is a long ways away from the life of the Star Fathers.”

I thought Aphrodite was going to explode. I did not even have the grace to feel sorry for her. I continued my haphazard work in the kitchen. She slammed the bedroom door. I heard terrible noises issuing through the walls. I shuddered. With every crash, I wondered what she found to break in there. There was nothing hard in the room, except the chest where I kept my clothes. I used my cloak to dry the floor, than found a dry spot to dust the dishes. I set the bread, cheese and fish on the table and filled two cups with water. I would have to get my goat back from the neighbors.

Aphrodite came out of the bedroom. She was a mess. Her clothes were filthy, which was to be expected with a white dress. Her cloak was gone, leaving her bare arms streaked with dirt. Her hair looked as if an animal had been playing in it. There were smudges on her perfect face. I took a long drink to hide my grin. I had left the straight backed chair for her. I was perched on the stool. She plopped down in the chair and folded her arms across her chest.

“So how do you like the house?” I asked easily. Her pale face turned red and she made various choking noises. “Words fail you?” I laughed.

“This place is the very piggiest sty I have ever been in!” she raved, finding words at last. I shrugged.

“If I knew I was bringing a wife home, I would have arranged for someone to clean it.” I said as I finished my food with relish. Aphrodite just sat and fumed. Maybe having her for a wife would be interesting. At least I could try and make it as fun as possible. I saw no sense in moaning over the situation. If you do not find joy in everything you do, than you are going to be miserable.

The rest of the day was filled with work. Everything had to be cleaned. I gave up starting the forge without lingering on regret. It would not be fair to any woman to leave the mess to them. So I helped with everything. To my surprise Aphrodite apparently was not always a showcase beauty. After sulking for nearly and hour she set to work correcting me and taking charge. She scrubbed the shelves, walls, tables, chairs, dishes and washed the dishes. I was kept busy supplying her with what she needed, and scrubbing. She had nothing suitable for working. Obviously, whoever had made her wardrobe, had only thought of her beauty and not of practical use. I had to supply her with one of my tunics. I doubt that this improved her mood either.

Overworked, exhausted with my lame leg aching like fury, I was glad to sink into the clean bed and sleep. Aphrodite stayed up longer rearranging the furniture in the kitchen. I did not care. I was not going to let her kill me with work.

Farewell,

Hephaestus

Low Waters, 7, Year of the Green Horse

Entry Six,

I relit the forge this morning and set to work preparing to get back to my work. Aphrodite still sulked and was rather bitter, but she did not skimp on the work. I was a little impressed. She had turned out to be a good cook and gardener too. I just had to stay out of her way before she bit my head off. I was melting down a lump of lead when Aphrodite stormed into the shop and hurled a hoe at my head. I caught it and was knocked off balance. My brace tightened, then snapped. I fell sprawling, my legs splayed. I bit back a groan.

“Your tools are useless!” Aphrodite roared, “How is one supposed to take care of this pathetic place and make it livable if you store junk and don't take care of your tools!” I inspected the hoe. The blade was so rusted that it was crumbling into pieces. A few hard whacks at the ground would finish it. I grimaced.

“How many are like this?” I demanded.

“All of them!” was the curt reply, “Shovels! Rakes!” I shook my head and tried to stand up. But the brace was stuck. I could not move my leg without letting the broken metal straps slice into my flesh. It had to be wareworms. They gnawed on metal.

The door of the shop opened and a young man entered. His dark curly hair was closely cropped and he was wearing leather armor and army boots. He wore no cape.

“Hephaestus.” he cried and rushed into to greet me.

“Ulysses.” I cried warmly. We clasped forearms. Ulysses was one of my dearest friends. His foster father Daedalus, was a prince under the authority of Midas. He was two years younger then myself. His foster brother Icarus was my age. I disliked him.

“When did you get back?” Ulysses asked, “Father said you were coming last week, and set supplies from the kitchen.”

“Thank you, we received them.” I said cheerfully, “We arrived two days ago.” Once more I tried to rise and failed. Ulysses reached down and jerked me to my feet. I balanced on my left leg, while my right remained at a 90 degrees angle. It was painful.

“We?” the prince queried, “Father said you were to bring a bride. Icarus thought that must be posh.” I rested my leg on a stool and attempted to bend the brace which was poking through my pants.

“She stands behind you.” I said through gritted teeth. Failing to bend the brace, I snatched up a hammer and gave it a smart tap. I would have to take it off. I winced as the metal bent into my flesh. The brace snapped the rest of the way and I was able to put my leg down.

Meanwhile, Ulysses had turned and was now facing Aphrodite. Realizing that they were staring at each other, I liked up. Knowing the power she had over young men, I felt the first pangs of despair. It was one thing of my brothers were fools, but Ulysses was to good to be crushed by the cruel beauty of a women. One look at his face and I new my fears were groundless. The prince continued to look at no woman without blemish.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Hephaestus' wife.” he said dryly, “I hope your journey was fine.” he turned back to me, “We have a problem.”

We did have a problem. I do not think Aphrodite appreciated being so thoroughly discarded from thought. She clenched her fists and took a threatening step towards us.

“Lets sit down.” I suggested, propelling my friend into the cottage and hopefully away from my wife's wrath. She followed. I collapsed in the rocking chair and tried to extract the metal from my flesh in the most unnoticeable way. Ulysses straddled the chair backwards. This left the stool for Aphrodite. She took it with bad grace.

“We have a big problem.” Ulysses said again, “There is a monster ravaging the city.” I jerked my head up, quite forgetting about my injury.

“Monster?” I repeated.

“What kind of monster?” Aphrodite demanded, looking a little pale.

“Of minotaur likeness, I think.” Ulysses said hesitantly, “It first came, about a week ago and took twenty of our children.”

“Twenty?” I gasped.

“It comes in the night.” the prince cried, “Negations were attempted with it, and it claimed a tribute of seven youths once a week or it would devour all the city.”

“If you keep that up, your city will be devoured in a year.” Aphrodite said coolly. I had to agree.

“We are but a small city.” Ulysses said, his head drooping, “We cannot hope to supply so many youths.”

“Whatever you do, do not volunteer!” I said sharply. My friend raised his head and held it high.

“I was the first to volunteer!” he said proudly, “I would be happy to die for my people!” Only they were not his people. He was fostered into their care. Blood was thicker than water, but they had no claim to his blood.

“Surely there will be another way.” I cried.

“We go to Olympus!” I said grimly, “Zeus will know what to do.”

“Finally we get to leave this dump.” Aphrodite sighed, with ill timed words. We glared at her.

Farewell,
Hephaestus