The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince
Prince Joseph's diary
Dear Lonely Me,
I am in so much trouble! Mother has forbidden me to leave my bed chamber. She has assured me that I am grounded from everything fun! It is so not fair! Elise came by to see me, after the first long hour.
“Mama, says you are a very naughty boy!” she said coolly. Girls are really big pains.
“I am hardly a naughty boy, anymore!” I snapped, “I'm a grownup!” She cocked her head, in that irritating girlish way.
“Well, then you are a very evil Prince!” she said, “The kind that try to kill their nephews, in all the stories!” Not that I care what my little child sister thinks of me, she made me nervous. The evil princes in the stories, always came to a really bad end! Jailed for life! Hanged! Beheaded! Banished!
“Get out of here!” I yelled at her, “I don't need to kill Jaden to get this rotten castle! I got my own princess!” I was sorry as soon as the words had left my mouth. OOPS! Elise is the biggest gossip too! I am so doomed!
“You? A princess?” she laughed scornfully.
“You would be surprised!” I snarled.
“Not really!” she said with a sneer, “After all, Justin married that merchant's daughter!”
“Because no princess would have him!” I snapped.
“And James married Princess Eleanor!” Elise continued.
“And Jaden married the brataroo!” I cried impatiently. Elise raised her eyebrows.
“If they could get married, I have every belief that you-”
“You know what.” I interrupted, “Elaine is not as big of a brat as you!” She glared at me.
“MOTHER?” she screamed, then went running down the corridor, “MOTHER? Joseph is calling me a brat!” Me and my big mouth! I am so doomed to spend eternity in this chamber! Blast! Well, the minute I am allowed out, I am heading right back to the forest! I would rather fight sweet darlin' what's its name then be bored to death!”
Joseph the ill-treated prince
Dear still lonely me,
I am bitter again. I am really bitter! I mean really really bitter! Should I capitalize it? Yes? IT! HAHA! I am so funny! To bad no one else thinks so! Anyway, I had plenty of time yesterday to think up some funny jokes. I tried a few on John when he came up for bed, but he has no sense of humor.
I actually forgot what I was going to write. Oh yes, mother said I could go hunting if John went with me. She says I need a chaperone. A chaperone!!!??!! John is my twin brother! My younger twin brother! I am so offended! Besides he hates hunting! UGH! It is so not fair! She was basically saying no!
After lunch, John comes into the chamber for his dancing shoes! DANCING SHOES? Why would a fellow need dancing shoes! He hates dancing! For a person that hates everything, he certainly is dedicated to everything!
“John drop those high heeled ladies shoes and go hunting with me!” I tell him in my nicest voice.
“You could say please!” he replied without even looking at me. I do not need to worry about my manners until he has gained a few! UGH!
“Never mind the please, lets leave right now!” I said. When a fellow is in a hurry, he can't waist time being polite.
“Goodbye!” John says and takes off, leaving me to suffer another whole day in our bed chamber. I am so going to kill him!
Joseph the prince who wishes he did not have a twin brother
Dear clever crafty me,
I am so smart! Oh wait, let me get the part over with, where I am not so smart! Somehow or other Elise spread the story throughout the entire castle that I had a secret love in the forest! Girls are so small minded! I said I had a princess, I never said I had a secret love! Where did she get that idea from? Mother wanted me to tell her weather or not my love was a princess, and if she was going to inherit a glorious kingdom. Mother always thinks about the details like that.
“I shall be sure to ask her.” I told mother.
Then Jaden comes in. He has this stupid look on his face. It is the, I am older then you and so much smarter, look.
“Joseph, I know you rarely think and act impulsively.” he said. I recognized the beginning of an elderly brother lecture.
“I'm not the one that got himself turned into a frog!” I told him. He left. Sheesh! One would think he was offended.
Then James comes in the room. Whatever advice he plans on giving me, about my secret love is sure to be terrible.
“Joseph, when you propose to your darling, just because she says no does not mean, you won't get her if you ask about twenty more times.” he told me. That's actually pretty good advice. But apparently the merchant's daughter didn't think so. She grabbed him by the ear and told him he would make a terrible father! UGH! I'm to old to be an uncle! I feel ancient! I'm going to die alone and unloved! I could cry!
I shut the door in Justin's face before he could give me any advice. They think that just because they are married, they know more about courting then me! But I know twice as much as them! James was a beast. He scared Belle into excepting him. Justin courted a sleeping girl. And Jaden was a frog. Elaine couldn't get anyone else to marry her! She's probably sad that I turned her down flat!
Oh, I believe I forgot about my cleverness. Allow me a moment to bask in all your admiration. Now I shall tell you what I did that was so gloriously clever. Hold on a second, I have to think. Blast it all, I cannot remember! BLAST! I got sidetracked! Oh well! Anyway, father said I was free. So I am going to ride back up to the tower and camp there again! I just need to collect Lasso from the butcher shop. Mother sent him to be made into dog food! CRUEL!
Joseph the wisest of the wise