What am I going to do with
a diary? They are so stupid! It is my birthday and I get a diary!
Actually my birthday was three months ago, I just decided to start
writing in it now. To bad if I am a little slow. It is not
really my fault, right? I mean my twin brother more then makes up for
my slowness, except he inherited this castle and nobody as heard from
him since. Most irresponsible of him if you ask me.
Day 2
Let me see, what should I
write today? Nothing interesting happens to me! I have a couple of
brothers and a little sister. Jaden is the oldest, James is my
younger twin. So that makes me, prince Justin, the second oldest.
Then John and Joseph are also twins. Then there is Jerome and baby
sis, I forget her name. Let me share the news, a banquet on Saturday,
with some idiot's family, who is supposed to marry John- no wait- I
mean Jaden- well one of my brothers anyway. I am afraid the banquet
is going to be really boring!
Day 3
So today this stupid sewing
person came and measured us all for new suits. John says- I got
plenty of suits, why do I need another? Mother says- All of you are
going to be married before next Spring, so I am going to order the
suits now! John looked like he wanted to die! As for me, I am never
ever going to marry anyone! Gross! By the way, I forgot to give my
parents the letter from some stupid lord, that he gave me about a
year ago. I found it in the bottom of my quiver, while I was cleaning
it out. Mother is really mad at me! It is not like their was anyone
hanging around to remind me. She ranted about it all through dinner,
which gave me a headache.
Day 4
Today is Saturday and guess
who disappeared right before we had to leave for the banquet? Jaden
of course! That sneak thought he could get of marrying an idiot
princess, by hiding. So now the rest of us have to entertain her!
Although, she should be entertaining us, as we are her guests. Well,
technically her parents' guests, but that is hardly the point. During
the dinner the princess just stared at us, while our parents talked
about the sudden disaster which forced Jaden not to come. There
really was no disaster, other then Jaden getting turned into a fat
slimy toad by little sis's fairy godmother. To bad James is not
around, we could have had a good laugh over this. Jaden is so bossy,
he deserves to be a toad. Especially since he got out of this
banquet.
Day 5
Horrors! I overheard my
parents talking about Jaden's untimely disappearance, and the
princess. They actually want me to marry her! ME? What have I ever
done to deserve a wife? I am just a poor innocent bystander. It was
not my fault that Jaden is now hopping around the garden! I went down
to the garden and called for Jaden. Of course the coward would not
answer. I lost my temper, which is something I rarely do, and wished
the princess would sleep for a hundred years, at least until I was
safely dead! Suddenly there was a flash and the fairy that had turned
Jaden into a toad, appeared.
“Prince Justin, what is
wrong with your family?” she asked.
“Nothing, except we are
very rich!” I tried to assure her, “And my parents want me to get
married.” She shook her head. Right about then I figure that was
not the correct response.
“Justin, two of your
brothers are under spells, and it looks like you will need a
punishment as well!” I did did not like the sound of that.
“But only Jaden is!” I
protested.
“Your princess shall prick
her finger as has been prophesied at her birth!” the fairy cried,
“But instead of sleeping for a hundred years, she will sleep until
you awaken her with love's first kiss!”
“Gross! Never!” I
yelled. I could feel my face turning a lovely shade of sour apple
green at the very thought of doing something so revolting.
“There will be no escaping
your fate!” The fairy cried as she started to disappear, “You
will live until you do, even if it is forever!” What a horrible
fairy! She must have cursed James as well as me and Jaden. Hopefully,
John, Joseph and Sis escape her treachery! I really should just get
this over with. But the idea of kissing a girl is most frightening.
Day 6
We have been invited to
that horrible Princess's home again! I pretended to be sick but
mother practically forced me into the carriage. I complained that we
just went there. Mother said that it was Princess Eleanor's sixteenth
birthday, and everyone had been invited. Good grief, the princess is
only a child! She is nowhere near old enough to be thinking of
marriage! I told mother as much. She had to remind me that I was
hardly older then her.
The day went downhill from
there. Everyone seems to think Eleanor and I are practically engaged.
I cannot stand her! Mother told me if I did not ask Eleanor to dance,
I would be sleeping in the barn. I told her I liked sleeping in the
barn. She just gave me a very nasty look. So I asked Eleanor to
dance. She did not look happy. Maybe her parents are forcing her to
marry me, just as my parents are. But at least she does not appear to
be sleepy. Once she yawned and I was terrified that she would fall
asleep right then and there, and I would have to kiss her.
I would like to think of
myself as a good dancer. I only stepped on her toes about twelve
times, and I knew most of the dances. After the dance I was dumping
the girl off on her parents when she paused looked at me and said,
“You know, I have never
met anyone who knows less about dancing!” I crossed my fingers
behind my back, perhaps just perhaps her parents would not want their
daughter marrying someone who does not know how to dance. Oh
compared to the rest of my brothers, I dance like an angel! Was
what I was planning on saying. What actually came out was,
“Oh,
um- haha- er thanks- I mean- goodbye!” Then I ran across the room.
I cannot believe I just said that. I must look like an idiot! I hate
dancing! What a horrible day.
Day 7
We
finally left Princess what is her name's castle, just before
midnight. That girl had disappeared, so hooray, I did not have to say
goodbye and maybe kiss her hand. Father wanted to leave and get home,
which turned out to be a good thing. Our carriage had barely left the
castle when there was a loud rumbling sound. The carriage was
overturned and one of the horses was killed. I had the bad luck to be
sitting next to little sis, she all but burst my ear drums with her
screams. Joseph and John climbed out and tried to fix the carriage,
but they were to feeble. I was quite glad to get out and ruin my suit
by not helping and falling in the mud. There was a lot of queer
lights in the sky. Mother stayed in the carriage and was shaking with
terror. Everyone else got out and ruined their clothes, because they
all wanted to be just like me. Then a debate followed, should we
return to our castle or Eleanor's castle? Then I heard a clock strike
midnight. This place was giving me the creeps. I voted to go home.
Luckily, none of the others, except mother, wanted to stay.
Day 8
I have
been asleep for hours, because of the lack sleep last night. Ugh,
dancing! Jerome just dragged me out of bed and told me, I was
required to attend supper with the rest of the family! Required?
Princes should not be required to do anything! Besides Jaden and
James are missing, so of course the whole family will not be present.
Dinner conversation revolved around the strange incident last night.
If you ask me, that evil fairy was involved again! It was not until
after dinner when I was engrossed in hunting for my favorite hunting
jacket, that I realized that I should have mentioned the Fairy's
threat to me. I also realized that I never told them the truth about
Jaden. Well, I will tell them, just as soon as I find that jacket.
Day 9
Joseph, Jerome and our cousin Kane went out hunting with me today.
John did not come because he hates hunting. Kane's mother will not
let her son marry anyone but a true princess. She is so obsessed with
it, that any girl who shows so much as a passing interest in him, has
to undergo a test. Kane would not tell us what the tests were, but he
did say no one has passed them. Lucky him. Somehow conversation got
switched around to James and Jaden.
“So
what happened with James and that drafty old palace?” Kane asks,
once we had discussed Jaden's luck in escaping princess Eleanor, “I
thought he planned to sell it months ago.”
“Maybe
the bats or mice ate him!” Jerome suggested. Jerome is always
trying to be funny. But I do not find his sense of humor funny.
“Cursed!”
I said, remembering I had forgotten to tell my family about the
Fairy's visit the previous night. My dumb relatives looked at me like
I had grown a pair of horns.
“Curse
what?” Joseph asked after a pause. I rolled my eyes.
“The
Fairy!” I said.
“Huh?”
they all replied like a bunch of idiot school children. I shook my
head and started whistling.
“What
did the fairy do?” Kane demanded, “Why do you want us to curse
her?”
“Because
of the curse!” I said cheerfully.
“So
did this fairy curse something?” Jerome asked, “Or do you want us
to curse her.” I nodded, then shook my head.
“Who
did she curse? Assuming we are talking about the same thing.”
Joseph said impatiently.
“What
are you babbeling about?” Kane asked.
“Justin
is doing a very good job of not explaining anything.” Jerome
smirked. I do not see why they cannot calm down and take life as it
comes. They never understand anything, which is really annoying.
“James!”
I explained. They should have understood now.
“What
about him?” they all yell.
“Jaden!”
I add. They gape at me, “Eleanor and I.” I continue.
“Brother,
I cannot make heads or tails of what you say!” Joseph said in a
very blunt voice.
“We
are all cursed!” I yell, feeling more then a little annoyed. This
time they have disbelief on their faces.
“Why
did you not just say so?” Joseph asks after a long silence.
“How
do you even know all this?” Kane asks. I could have told them
everything already if they did not keep interrupting. It took me
until we got back into the great hall at the castle to tell them the
whole story. The reason it went so slow was that, they would not stop
interrupting me.
Day 10
Nobody
believes me! It is so not fair! Father had to send a servant to that
princess's castle to find out if I was telling the truth. He sent
another servant to James' palace. Neither has returned yet. So I will
sit and sulk in my room until they do.
Day 11
I left
my room today, because I was hungry. The servants still did not come
back. I went out to the garden to find Jaden and squeeze him until he
owned of to my parents, that he had gotten transformed to avoid
marriage. Unfortunately, there was no sign of a frog, toad, lizard
or anything that could be Jaden in the garden. The world obviously
hates me. My family thinks I am insane. It is so not fair! Why can
they not take my word for it? I am obviously a very trustworthy
person. What about my simple story would make them think I was
insane?
Day 12
One of
the servants came back today. He looked absolutely terrified. He
talked or rather babbled on an on about some overgrown park and a lot
of sleeping people. I did not like the sound of it. Mother and father
had a long conversation about it, which they did not include any of
their children in. How annoying! If I am supposed to wake her up, I
would like to be in on the plans. But at the moment I will just enjoy
a little bit of piece and quiet. The princess is not going anywhere,
she can wait.
Day 13
So much
for my wish of being in on the plan. Now I have to go to her
castle and try and wake her up. Ugh! Is there no end to
injustices. Jerome has decided to go to James' palace and find out
what is going on there. Well I guess I will go with him. If anyone
protests I will say I am going to go to her castle, just the
long way around. The good thing is, that Joseph will not go because
he has been making a lot of trips into the black woods. Something
there must interest him. When mother asked him to go with Jerome, he
said no, because he had to meet a very important lady with twenty
foot long hair. Is that not a really lame excuse? Actually, I think
the hair was a lot shorter then twenty feet, but that is not the
point. The point is that if he or John or Kane does not go with
Jerome, I can go. Wait a second, John cannot go either, he has
dancing lessons scheduled. Good for him.
Day 14
Jerome
and I set out for James' palace today. Kane was called home,
apparently some girl claiming to be a princess had arrived or
something silly like that. Jerome talked and talked and talked.
Seriously, can her never shut up? He told me I needed confidence and
that I had to stop procrastinating and that I should also learn to
make a proper conversation. In short, he told me to act my age. The
very nerve of him. Why do I need to to talk, when I have a diary to
complain in? Besides Jerome does enough talking for the whole family.
I never needed to hurry or be confident before, that was always
James' duty. I guess I was always his silent shadow. Not a very
friendly thought. Anyway I hope James has not changed. He was always
smart, maybe he can come up with a plan for me to escape the fairy's
wretched curse.
Day 15
We are
almost there, I am so excited that I actually interrupted Jerome. He
was surprised, but I had not been listening to him in the first
place. Suddenly a crowd of people in peasant clothes went running
past. Huh? That is peculiar. They looked scared.
“What
is going on?” Jerome says with a frown.
“Lets
find out!” I reply. Jerome gives me a funny look. We rode even
deeper into the woods and were surprised to see someone in a bright
red shirt go limping past at a very fast walk, pursued by a very
angry woman with a frying pan.
“Miss
Emilee Potts?” Jerome yells. The man escapes and the woman turns
towards us. She is indeed our housekeepers daughter. The one that
went off to be James' new housekeeper. She stares at us.
“Well,
well.” she says, “Is that my name? I had quite forgotten.” How
can someone forget their own name? That is so stupid!
Day 16
I am
still in shock. Miss Potts took us to the palace and we found James
in a ragged shirt digging in a garden with some girl! Alright that
does not sound to outrageous, but first of all James is a prince!
Secondly, he hates dirty clothes! Thirdly, the girl was not even that
pretty, and James will not so much as talk to a girl who is not
beautiful! Fourth, he was listening to the girl instead of doing all
the talking! Sixth, the conversation was about the girl! James'
favorite topic is himself, that's all he likes to talk about!
Seventh- I don't know what the seventh is, but there has to be one
somewhere, I think. Oh, he hates getting dirty, all that dirt under
his nails- ugh!
To make
matters worse, as soon as James saw us he embraced us. James does not
do hugs! Then he introduced the girl as Belle, his betrothed!
BETROTHED as in getting married! Jerome was struck speechless and
nearly fell over. James being the perfect host had Miss Potts show us
to rooms and provide us with supper, then this morning he told us
about a fairy and a curse. Belle helped brake the curse or something
like that. I think he is still under a spell. Otherwise he would
never marry her, even if she did help brake the spell. She is just
plain ugly!
Day 17
This
place gives me the creeps! It looks like some great war had been
fought here. Perhaps James is not so crazy as he sounds. That is the
only reason I am glad that I am leaving tomorrow! Yes, I finally am
going to Eleanor's castle. I intended to stay a week but, James
cornered me and had a man to man talk with me. He actually had me
answer questions! It is so peculiar.
“Justin,
yesterday Jerome told me about you and the fairy, he says you think
you are under some kind of curse.” he said.
“Oh.”
I replied, well I thought of a better answer.
“Justin,
you cannot just idle away your time here. That girl deserves better!
But if you can help her, then do it!” the tone of his voice sounded
sharp, more like his old bossy self.
“Better
then what?” I asked. I wished he would just get to the point.
“Then
you!” he said grimly. Seriously, James can be so mean.
“Oh?”
I said again. What else could I say? It was not like I wanted to
marry her.
“You
have to step forward and shoulder your share of the responsibility!
Stop procrastinating! I know that I kind of was well... taking over
for you before I came here.” Now I really know there is something
wrong with him. “You have to step forward with confidence! That is
all you need Justin, confidence! And to speak more quicker when
someone speaks to you!” I had the serious urge to tap my forehead,
but I restrained myself. He cocked his head, obviously waiting for an
answer.
“Oh?”
I am beginning to think my short and not to the point answers were a
little too short.
“Justin
just go and wake your princess, NOW!” James' yell sounded very
normal and I began to think that maybe, just maybe he is not mad,
reformed maybe, but not mad. Since he usually takes the lead, I guess
that means I better reform too. But I better find out what my faults
are.
Here is
a list of my faults
Um..... maybe I do not talk enough.Let me think... ah... perhaps I am a bit lazy... only a bit mind you.I think I need a little more confidence... not quite so much that I will stand on a stage and sing the national song.I have something against princesses and marrying, but then so do or did all my brothers.These faults are really lame, I am just going to get rid of this list.
Day 18
What a
dreary day! A really really dreary day! Jerome talked on and on about
Belle and James, giving his opinion of everyone. He said that he was
talking to Henry, James' steward. He said Henry did not remember his
name because he had been called Chip for so long. I fail to see why
anyone would call a steward Chip. Jerome went on to explain that it
was because the first day they had been enchanted, he got into a
fight with Miss Potts and she tore a chunk out of his ear. I still
fail to see why that would explain the name. Chunk would have been
more reasonable. But why would Miss Potts do such a barbaric thing? I
think I have begun to ask to many questions in this diary. Oh yes, I
was talking about the weather. Well it is dreary and we have been
riding through it for a little less then an eternity.
Day 19
The
servant was quite right. Eleanor's castle is surrounded by overgrown
trees and huge brambles. No one can get through, not ever! Which is
actually good news for me. Jerome took one look at the overgrowth and
started babbling about going home.
“No!”
I told him. He was not going to just abandon me.
“What
good would I be here? After all your precious fairy and you got
yourself into this ridiculous mess! The two of you can fix it, I am
off home because that is where I want to be, not here helping you
trim the hedge! Adieu dear sweet brother! Better start sharpening
your pruning sheers!” He said and was gone before I could think of
a suitable answer. James was right, I need to answer quicker, when
spoken too. Well I guess I will just sit here and wonder what the
best thing to do is. It may be a bit boring.
Day 20
Today I
figured out what the best thing to do yesterday, would have been. It
would have been to tie up my horses. I mean it would have been a
really good idea. Not that I mind wild berries for breakfast, its
just that I am not really certain which are the poison berries and
which are the ones that make you drop dead. It also took awhile to
find a suitable stone to sharpen my sword on. The reason I needed to
sharpen my sword is that I do not happen to have a pruning sheers,
and since I do not happen to have a pruning sheers I have to use my
sword to cut through the brambles. My sword is always dull because I
never sharpen it, which is another thing I could have done yesterday.
I just read over my last entry and cannot figure out if I am
complaining or being sarcastic. Hopefully complaining because I
cannot stand sarcastic people, and if I am going to live with only
myself for awhile I do not want be sarcastic.
Day 21
Perhaps
I should have spent a little more time hunting for food yesterday, I
feel really faint today. Maybe it is the poison berries kicking in. I
wish I could die! Luckily I sharpened my sword, now I can do a
little hunting. At least I know how to hunt. I wonder if I could make
a snare. I am pretty sure I remember how.
Day 22
My
basic- very basic snare I made yesterday caught a rabbit, I was
finishing him up today, when Joseph came riding past. He was about a
hundred feet away, but he cupped his hands and yelled at me to get up
off my hunches and do some work. How could he say that? I am
starving! I was just taking a little brake. It is beside the point
that I got here three days ago.
Day
23
I got
to thinking about what Joseph said to me yesterday so I vowed I would
start work today. And I did. But cutting even a small path through
hedge and brambles this thick with a sword is almost impossible.
Notice I only said almost. My hands look like a spider web of blood
and cuts. Surely there must an easier way of doing it. I have tried
swinging my sword in front of me. All that does is knock a few twigs
off and brush aside the bramble, but once my sword as passed, the
bramble springs back and scratches me. I have also tried swinging my
sword like an ax. I nearly chopped off my foot. This is the worst job
I have ever had... actually it might be the only job I have ever had.
Day 24
Seriously,
I feel as if I had been cutting all day yesterday, but I only cleared
about four feet! Four measly feet! How do the peasants clear woods
anyway? I am willing to bet they do not use swords. So now I am
starving and getting torn to pieces in a bramble patch, all for a
girl I do not give a pence about! Something does not seem right about
this! The fairy never said anything bad would happen to me if I did
not waken Eleanor. The only thing is that Eleanor will sleep forever,
which is completely fine with me, I think. She probably deserves it.
Day 25
Hungry
again! So I went hunting today. But I felt rather stiff and sore.
Day 26
Back to
cutting! I can see the castle gates now, and should not have much
further to go. I am starting to feel like I have accomplished
something in my life.
Day 27
Broke
through today! I feel like I should have a celebration of some kind,
but... I am tired, miserable and covered with multiple scratches. I
just want to sink down in my warm bed. Just think, tomorrow I will
actually enter the castle. It should like slightly different from
before, what with the oversized garden. I collapsed- well took a nap
in the courtyard.
Day 28
The
whole place is so quiet, that my own breathing sounds abnormally
loud. Then there is the servants and guards, just laying about.
Cobwebs are draped over some of them. Others have mice nests in there
laps. It looks like no one had lived here for a hundred years. All
this dust is making me sneeze too. If I fell asleep, I sure would not
let a mouse sleep with me.
Day 29
Who
designs castles? I have seriously been wandering through this castle
for twelve hours and still I cannot find the princess. I found the
king and the queen unceremoniously draped over there thrones. I found
Eleanor's pig baby brother, he must have had his fingers in a bowl of
pudding, when he fell asleep, because he was sitting against the leg
of a table a pudding bowl on his head. I helped myself to some food,
which needed a little dusting before I could eat it. The cook makes
excellent, although slightly dusty pastries and they were only
slightly stale.
Day 30
I found
a staircase at last! But there was over two hundred tiny steps that
just kept going around and around and around. I decided that I really
despise steps, they were invented by a monster! But finally when I
reached the top I found more doors. Would it be really bad if I sat
down and cried? Probably! Guess what was in the first door I tried?
Nothing! Guess what was in the next fifty doors? Nothing! Guess what
was in the door at the end of the hall? The princess! She was lying
on dusty bed. I think she was wearing pink dress. But I was to tired
to do anything except drop in a dusty chair next to a spinning wheel
and fall asleep. This is a big castle. My ancestors knew how to built
a proper castle.
Day 31
I awoke
sore and stiff. The only thing worse then waking up and finding
yourself in a creepy girl's room, is awaking up in creepy girl's room
with no chance of breakfast, unless you forage for it. Well, as you
can imagine, I got the worst. Not to mention the spinning wheel turns
itself. It turns and gives me the impression that an invisible woman
is sitting there watching me. I left the room in a big hurry, but all
the other rooms were just as bad. People sprawled all over the place,
snoring, covered with dust and spider webs. I got a bad case of the
shivers. Well at least the garden well was not full of dust and I
managed to wash some apples and some other kind of mushy green fruit
in it.
Day 32
Well,
there is no escaping now. I re-climbed the two hundred steps and went
back to her room. I kept telling myself, that one kiss and I
could escape. Just one tiny little itty bitty kiss. But I need more
motivation then that. Just looking at a dust covered girl, with mice
lodging on her bed and covered with spider webs is enough to make me
gag, not to mention that I have to kiss her. Did I ever mention that
I despise fairies? I mean for real! Their curses are nasty things. I
think I will explore the tower, at least the top floors, just so long
as I do not have to climb those stupid steps hundreds of times. The
room below her room looked like a dungeon. Their was an iron
grail in the window, and a skeleton chained to the wall. I am not
sure if I want to know what he was tortured for. What I do want to
know is, what kind of king makes his daughter sleep above a dungeon?
Maybe I should rescue her as soon as possible. The rest of the rooms
on the tower were rather boring, nothing in any of them but stools.
One had another spinning wheel in it and a pile of straw on the
floor. If you ask me, Eleanor's family are strange and a bit insane.
Day 33
Well, I
am back in her room. I even went all the way over to her bed
and actually bent over to kiss her, but then a rat as big as my arm
popped out from under the pillow and someone started screaming, and I
felt dizzy. When the dizziness past as I was clinging to a beam on
the first floor of the castle, and I realized that I had been doing
the screaming. My heart is still racing. Oh I am not going back into
that room for awhile.
Day 34
I feel
so bored and lonely. Usually I listen to my brothers do all the
talking, at least I am not alone with them, but here I am alone,
unless you count the bodies everywhere. I can hardly count them. You
know I am pretty sure the head steward was stealing from the king. He
had three bags of coins spilling out of his shirt. I have taken to
talking to myself. But since I never get any replies it does not help
much.
Day 35
I have
found some motivation. A library full of dusty leather bound books. I
found Jade's favorite series, the Pendragon Saga and carried the
first three books up to her room. The stories are full of
ordinary people doing extraordinary things and becoming famous. I am
a little bit higher then an ordinary person and I cannot even kiss a
stupid girl, when the heroes in the books would rescue damsels from
all sorts of horrible and terrifying creatures. Well, just as soon as
I finish this chapter I shall wake her up. Why do they call girls
damsels anyway? Girl sounds just fine to me.
Day 36
I fell
asleep over my book last night and quite forgot to kiss her. I
guess I better do it now. But when I went over to her and saw how
gross she was, well... I almost ran off again. But then I decided, if
a blacksmith's son could become a knight, a widow's son could plant a
giant beanstalk, and a boy could pull a sword from a stone, I could
clean a few cobwebs off of a girl. So I ran back down to the kitchen
and found a bucket. I filled the bucket with water and collected a
table cloth from the great hall. I once saw a Magician pull a cloth
out from under a table full of food without knocking anything over.
But I am sure no one will mind the soup and wine spilled all over the
floor once I wake everyone up. Well, I washed her
face, and killed the rats nesting in her bed. But then the bed was
covered with blood and cuts from my sword and the dead rats. So I
dragged her off the bed. I draped her over the chair behind
the spinning wheel and took the sheets off. Since their was no maid
hanging around I tossed them out the window and kicked the mice down
the steps. Then I laid the blanket on the bed, I figure she does not
need a blanket, since the cold will hardly awaken her. Then I dragged
her back to the bed and put her back on it. Now her hair is a mess,
but I am not about to fix that. I already cleaned her off. I am to
tired to kiss her tonight. One more night is not going to kill her.
Day 37
Ugh!!!!
Why am I cursed? It is so not fair! I woke up this morning ready to
finish everything off and she was completely disgusting again. What
happened to my hard work? Is this some fool's idea of a joke? Well I
can only say it is in very poor taste. Well I went back down to the
well for more water. That is when I found the armory. I have never
been in one before. A servant always brought me my weapons. Now I
find it much more entertaining to collect my own weapons of choice. I
found a beautiful longbow. Maybe I can use it to go hunting once this
sorry business is over. Then I found a much better sword then my own.
Considering the generous deed I am doing for the family I think they
owe me the sword and the bow, not to mention the quiver full of fine
arrows.
Day 38
Drat! I
was so busy in the armory that I missed another whole day. It is
really beginning to bother me that I can be so easily distracted.
Well, I collected my bucket and opened the side door to go outside,
but to their was a very tall lady dressed in black with black hair
and a very pale face. Her lips were redder then blood and she carried
some kind of ugly brown rodent, I think it was a deformed rabbit, in
her arms.
“Oh
hello my dear, I did not realize that their was anyone home.” she
said in a high pitched sickening voice.
“Er-
no.” I cried like an idiot, “I mean yes, they are sleeping.” I
think I prefer it when no one can here me.
“Well,
you should not be awake sweat heart.” she sneered, “I will have
to kill you!” Let me tell, a fellow does not want to here that
from the first person he has talked to in days. I slammed the door in
her face and ran for the stairs.
Day 39
I hid
in the kitchens all day and night. How exactly do you fight a woman?
I cannot kill her, it would be against my code of honer! Which I
probably already broke when I did not waken the princess at once!
Besides, I am pretty sure she is a fairy. Would it be a crime to kill
a fairy woman? Is it the same thing? I hope not, because it is
against my private code to stand around and get killed. Well, this
morning, I made a dash for the tower. I am pretty sure it will be the
most defensible spot. That “woman” creature was waiting for me. I
had to run- well run is putting it simply, I had to do nothing short
of flying for my life. When a creepy woman in a black dress chases
someone, it is a good idea to run. But when she is shooting flames
out of the mouth of a rodent and sparks from her own eyes, then you
have to do more then run. Probably screaming your head off helps.
Day 40
Really?
I am back in the princess's room again. I hardly noticed going
up those millions of steps last night. I was too busy worrying about
my life, then barricading myself into the room. I put everything in
front of the door, except the bed and the spinning wheel. Even if I
was hiding from a woman, I could not use another woman as a piece of
barricade. I also will not touch the spinning wheel. It is the most
gruesome thing ever.
It is
rather boring in here. Nothing to do but starve to death, while I
wait for the crazy hag of a fairy to smash through the door and turn
me into a pile of ashes. I should really get paid for this. I mean a
lot. I could kiss the girl, but I doubt she would appreciate the
situation. She will probably just faint away and then I would not
even be able to wake her up, if we had to make a hasty departure. How
long have I been sitting here? It feels like years and years. Wait a
second, was it even ten minutes?
Day 41
My
barricade started giving away before the sun started to even started
rising. Do fairies ever rest? Well, now was the time to take that
hasty exit. But the only way out is through the window, and let me
assure you, it is a long way down. Nevertheless, it will have to do.
Maybe princesses are trained in the way of climbing down towers
without the help of a ladder or very long hair. It would be a shame
if they have not been, because then all my work would be for nothing.
She had to go out. If she does not know how to climb, I am afraid she
would die.
Well, I
kissed her. Hmm... maybe it was not quite as bad as I thought. Just a
little strange and awkward. Nothing seemed to happen for a minute,
then just as the door and the barricade went flying across the room,
she sat up and stared around. Seriously, what is wrong with
princesses? Her room looks like it has been unoccupied in a thousand
years. An evil fairy with a maniacal rodent is shooting fire
everywhere, and she looks at me and slaps me so hard that I fall
over! Really? I am beyond disgusted! What an ungrateful brat! To make
matters worse, the fairy witch singed the whole top of my head. OUCH!
What is a fellow supposed to do, when he is caught between two angry
ladies? I am not sure what most men would do, but I am pretty sure it
is not grabbing a girl off of a bed and stuffing her out of a tower
window! In fact I am pretty sure, nobody would do that. Well, guess
what I did? Yes, I threw her out the window. Or tried to do it
anyway.
She
hung onto the ledge and screamed that an insane lunatic was trying to
kill her. Insane? Lunatic? She could not possibly be talking
to me? Maybe if I remembered that I could talk to someone else other
then myself, I might have been able to explain. But I was forced to
abandon the girl, hanging out the window and dodge my other problem.
A fire fairy! As I said before, one does not simply fight a woman, so
I simply threw something at her. The first thing that came in handy.
The spinning wheel! The nasty thing sliced through my hand as I threw
it. The witch blasted it, to pieces. Good riddance. But I did not
wait to find out what happen next. I scrambled out the window.
Luckily the whole tower was covered with vines, I guess it is
supposed to be a hundred years worth of vines. The princess tried to
slap me again, but luckily for me she seemed more interested in
hanging on, then actually hitting me.
“Climb!”
I said. It was actually nice to be able to talk to another human
being, even though we were hanging to the outside of a tower, with an
angry fire fairy blazing away at us.
“What?”
she yelled. Are princesses supposed to yell? “You just kidnapped
me, and through a spinning wheel at an old woman, and you expect me
to-”
“Old
woman?” I retorted, “More like insane witch!”
“You
are the insane one!” she screamed. The witch intervened then, by
appearing at the window, and grabbing Eleanor's wrists. I hung onto
the vines with my right hand, which also happened to be my injured
one, and drew my sword with my left hand. I forgot my knightly code
and whacked at the witches hands. She screamed and let go, I was
forced to drop my sword and grab Eleanor's arm, before she plunged to
her death. She kept screaming at me to let go of her. Are all women
so ungrateful? Last time I saw him, James said that it was just our
imagination about women being ungrateful. Well, I totally do not
believe that. Woman are ungrateful!
It took
some nasty burns and ripping vines, for Eleanor to see sense and
start climbing. But I wish she would hold her tongue. She jabbered as
we climbed. Which was annoying, especially since our “friend” the
witch was burning the vines and we were practically climbing a
burning ladder.
“Is it
just my imagination or would it be more intelligent to go down?”
she jabbered.
“Shut
up and climb!” I growled.
“But
what do you intend to do? Sit on the sloping roof of a tower until it
falls down?” she continued jabbering. Seriously, do women ever shut
up? About twenty minutes later, I could see what she was trying to
pull together enough brains to say. We were sitting on the sloping
roof of a tower, surrounded by flames with no chance of going up or
down! Besides that, my only weapon was a bow and a quiver half full
of arrows. I am not even sure I could use it, especially since my
hand was bleeding all over the place. The climb had done nothing to
help it.
Day 42
I am
seriously starving. That is the worst of my problems. The other
problems are that I am sitting on a sloping roof of an oversized
tower, with no chance of rescue. An insane witch is keeping me here
with a nice blaze around the tower, an insane princess who seems to
think this is all my fault is with me jabbering away, giving me a
headache, and my hand has swollen up and I can barely move the
fingers. Spinning wheels should be banished. Actually, come to think
about it, I have never seen a spinning wheel before this whole
princess mess, maybe they already were banished.
“So
idiot, do you have a plan?” Eleanor demands, giving me a nasty
look. My is she impatient, we have only been up here one whole day
and night.
“Why
do I need a plan?” I retort?
“Because,
you kidnapped me then got a fairy angry with us!” she snapped her
eyes blazing.
“Excuse
me, but I just rescued you!” I growl.
“Rescued
me?” her eyebrows were raised up so high, I was surprised that they
did not just go clean off her face. “You threw me out of a tower,
after you entered my chamber without permission! What have you done
with my guards?”
“Left
'em snoring where I found them!” I informed her.
“Snoring?
What are you talking about?” she demands.
“Apparently
you were under a curse!” I told her with great patience, “Some
stupid fairy told me that you would prick your finger and would not
wake up until I kissed you! Everyone else decided to sleep
with you!” Eleanor stared at me, and I had the uncomfortable
feeling that maybe I should have broken it to her in gentler terms.
After all she was just a girl, hardly more then a child.
When I
looked over the side of the tower past the fire, I could see other
people getting up. Everyone was waking up. I hoped that meant we
would be rescued. I sat back and waited to be rescued, because what
else could I do. Suddenly Eleanor let out a bloodcurdling scream. I
was very disturbed. My heart started pounding and I jumped to my
feet, grabbing my bow and an arrow.
“What
is it?” I yelled. She pointed. I wished I had stayed sitting.
Apparently our fairy witch friend had some kind of shape shifting
power. Because, she had jumped out of the tower window and morphed
into a dragon. Not a big one, only about as wide as the tower, and
about half as tall, so more like twenty-five feet tall, totally not a
problem. Everything grew blurry and somebody started screaming.
Someone else started screaming for silence. Then I realized that it
was me screaming and clamped my mouth shut.
“Honestly?”
Eleanor cried, “Now it will have no trouble finding us.” She was
right. The dragon witch fairy flew straight at us, with one obvious
attention in its mind.
“Do
something!” Eleanor screamed, “You are supposed to be my prince
charming, while save me- please.” Did she honestly expect me to do
something again? I already saved her once. I fitted my arrow to the
string of my bow and fired. I yelled in pain as the string stung my
injured hand. The dragon shot up over the tower in the obvious
attempt to avoid my terrible shot. As the tail went whipping past, I
grabbed it with my free hand, which also happened to be my injured
hand. I really did have the worst luck ever. I bit back a scream of
pain. My first intention was to drop down to safety but then I
realized how far away the top of the tower already was and changed my
mind. There was only one way to go. Upwards.
Still
clutching my bow, I awkwardly started to climb the tail. The witchy
dragon lashed at her own side, in the attempt to get rid of me. I
dropped the bow and hung on. I slammed into her side and saw spiders,
spinning wheels and toads dancing in my head. It was painful to say
the least. But I hung on. The tail lashed out again, this time I was
ready. I used the momentum of the swinging tail to hurl myself
forward. I caught the side of the dragon and hoisted myself onto her
back. The dragon plunged downwards. I clutched at the pointy things
on her back. I will have to admit that I was shaking in terror. She
did three rolls in the air, but I hung on. Then she evened out. I
stood up and took and arrow out of my quiver. Then I slammed it into
her head. A horrible shattering roar filled the air, and we shot
downwards. The last thing I remembered was the tower drawing near
with terrifying speed.
Day 43
I awoke
to find myself tied down in a bed. Well actually I was not tied, more
like bandaged, but it felt like I was tied. There was a lot of people
in the room. I recognized Eleanor's parents, and Jerome. What was he
doing here? I was rather relieved to see him. But I did not see
Eleanor. I cold feeling washed over me. Yesterday seemed a bit hazy
to me and I wondered if the dragon had killed her. I forced myself to
sit up. Jerome turned.
“So
the prince charming has awaken at last.” he smirked, “Well,
well-”
“Shut
up! Where is Eleanor?” I snapped.
“Oh
sir you are so brave.” the queen gushed, “Your princely brother
was just telling us how you saved us.” I felt like gagging. I had
done nothing except be lazy and I did not appreciate flattering
praise.
“Where
is Eleanor?” I asked again.
“When
you are stronger, she can come in and give her humble thank yous.”
the queen said. I scowled. I did not want humble thank yous. I wanted
to make sure she was alright, although I was not quite sure why.
“If I
am not strong enough to see her, I am most certainly not strong
enough to see you.” I said dryly.
“Wha-?”
Jerome cried and his mouth dropped open.
“But-?”
the queen gaped.
“I
shall fetch my daughter at once.” the king said with a smirk,
“Everyone else, out!”
“But-?”
the queen said again.
“What
happens next is none of your business and entirely between Prince
Justin and Eleanor.” the king said stiffly, then he took his wife's
arm and directed her out of the room. Jerome grinned.
“That
is telling 'em brother!” he smirked then he ushered everyone else
out of the room. I lay down again. My head was beginning to spin and
I felt like going to sleep.
“Your
highness?” a girlish voice said. I Jumped. My head banged against
the headrest and once more I saw a collection of objects dancing
around my head.
“Wha-?”
I growled. Then I looked up. Eleanor was standing in the doorway
looking at me. I had never really paid much attention to her before,
but right then and there I realized that she was a beautiful young
woman. I felt my face turning red.
“You
called me?” she demanded, sounding more like her old self.
“I-I
just wanted to make sure that the dragon did not eat you and waste
all of my efforts.” I blurted out. She raised one eyebrow.
“Justin
you are a mess.” she said, “You jumped on a dragon's back, killed
it with an arrow then smashed into a wall, and you worry about me.”
I felt offended. She was supposed to be greatful.
“But I
saved your life.” I said sulkily.
“After
endangering it in the first place!” she snapped.
“Blast
you!” I growled and scrambled off the bed. Immediately a concerned
look crossed her face.
“No,
please do not get up.” she cried.
“Why
not?” I snapped, “I want to go home!” I moved towards the door
feeling a little shaky.
“Must
you?” she asked. I glanced at her face, it was expressionless. I
hesitated. Did she want me to stay?
Suddenly
there was a flash of light and my horrible stalker fairy tormenter
appeared. In one hand she held a glittering wand. Anger washed over
me. So she was back to ruin everything again.
“Get
out of here!” I yelled, “You just have to torture-”
“Justin,
she is one of my fairy godmothers!” Eleanor cried. I groaned. A
sure way to not impress a girl was to insult her godmother, fairy or
otherwise.
“Justin,
it is about time you stepped up and did something for yourself.”
the fairy said smoothly, “Your family only decides to act if they
think they are cursed. If they think they are getting something out
of the deal!”
“You
turned James into a beast?” I yelled, “And Jaden into a toad?”
“I did
what I had to do!” she said, “But honestly Justin if you had not
woken Eleanor up, someone else would have some time in the future. I
just told you that so you would do it. You needed to do something
like that.” I seriously felt like killing something. That something
preferably being a fairy. Not just any old fairy. That fairy!
“So I
do not have to marry Eleanor now?” I demanded in a low voice.
“No.”
she said with a long sigh, “Your wish come true!”
“What?”
Eleanor cried, “What is going on here? Why can he not marry me?”
I grabbed her hand in my bandaged one.
“Away
with meddling fairies! We can make our own decisions!” I yelled,
then I turned towards the princess, “Princess, do you want to get
married?”
“So
you decided to-” the fairy began, sounding overly smug in my ears.
“Hush!”
Eleanor said and kissed me.
To Be
continued with
The
Diary of a Frog Prince
No comments:
Post a Comment