The Diary of an Uncharming Prince, Part 4

The Diary of an Uncharming Prince

Jerome's Diary

Day 12

I really planned on leaving yesterday, but then I realized that I probably would not find another place with so few girls, so I decided to stay. I worked out a plan during the night. If I packed myself a lunch and supper right after breakfast, I would only have to worry about seeing little Miss Tar during breakfast. What kind of name is Tar Feather anyway? It kind of matches her description. She has Tar colored hair and feather colored skin. I bet she is dying of some kind of wasting disease. Once the funeral is over I do not have to worry about her any more. I have so much to look forward too.

Today Jalik showed me how to bend iron to make rims for around shields. It is difficult and my burnt arm hurts every time I put it near the heat. But of course I did not complain. I am far to superior to complain. Out loud anyway. I will not mention what I thought inwardly. I was tapping my iron smooth after finishing one side, when who should come waltzing into the cave. Tar! I have never met anyone so annoying as her. How dare she come into the cave.

“Oh what lovely things!” she cried.

“Oh what lovely things!” I mimicked. Marik immediately gave her one of his shields and one of mine.

“Which is better​?” Jalik demanded as he peered past Marik. Mine was obviously far superior to Merik's shield.

“This one!” Tar said. Guess whose shield it was not? Yours truly. I have never been so insulted in my life. I know she was trying to ruin my day on purpose, because Hendrick let her go into the mines with me and Fenrick. Tar found more precious stones then both Fendick and I put together. I did not care so much about myself, but Fenrick is a fully trained dwarf. How could this have happened? Alright, yes I am furious. I had to stick my head in the stream to cool down. Believe me I needed it badly. I might have done her some damage.

Day 13

Today Sanick would not let me go to the cave. He said it was time for me to learn to wash the dishes. I thought that it must be better then Tar beating me in everything. I was never more wrong. Tar was scheduled for training today too. Before I could blink, she swept all the dishes into a tub and dragged them outside.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. I may not have had much experience washing dishes, but I was pretty certain people did not take them outside.

“Washing the dishes!” she replied.

“Outside?” I growled.

“To be sure.” Sanick grunted, “It is sure to rain this evening, then we shall have clean dishes again.”

“You wash them in the room?” I yelled.

“No, we let the rain wash 'em.” Sanick explained.

“Disgusting!” I shouted, my stomach started to churning. Who knew what had crawled over the dishes I had been eating on.

“You like 'em dirty?” Sanick asked.

“You lug those dishes right back in here!” I shouted. Grumbling, Sanick obliged me. “Tar, you put a kettle of water on, and I will show you how to really wash the dishes.” Once I poured the kettle of mostly hot water into the tub, Sanick went outside and Tar sat down to watch me. After I had washed, scrubbed and rinsed two plates, I began to see the usefulness of letting the rain do the work. There probably were not a lot of crawly animals out during the rain anyway.

“Are you really going to wash all those dishes?” Tar asked, her eyes widening.

“Shut up and help me carry this tub outside.” I growled. Sanick smirked when we came outside. I threatened to drown him in the tub. He kept right on smirking. Why does no one take me seriously?

Day 14

Today Marik and I took a few deliveries to a village at the foot of the mountain. Everyone stared at me and giggled. One little boy told me that I was the tallest dwarf he had ever seen. A little girl asked me why I didn't have a beard. Well, I did have a beard. I have not shaved in a while, so I do to have a beard. I told them so. She giggled and said the other dwarfs never answered when she talked to them.

“That is because I am not a dwarf!” I yelled at her. She ran off crying. Then her father would not buy anything from us. I hate people. I am glad I live with a bunch of of dwarves, and a weird excuse of a girl child.

Later as we were climbing up the hill, we met an old lady with dried up prune like skin. She had a dark cloak wrapped around her and a basket full of lace, ribbons and other such stupidity.

“You buy a bit o' lace from an old woman!” she croaked.

“Go away hag!” I growled. At court my manners would have been frowned upon. Luckily I was not there. Not that I would have been any more polite there.

“You be sorry!” the hag croaked after us.

“Tar might like.” Marik mumbled.

“Tar not like!” I retorted, “I mean, Tar will not like that garbage!” Marik shrugged. Inwardly I knew Tar would love that basket of frippery. Well I was not paying for any of that trash.

Day 15

Tar made breakfast today. Burnt oats and the most delicious cream puffs ever. I ate ten of them. In my defense I have to say they were tiny. Only about three inches tall and four inches wide. That is small, right? I tried to take an eleventh one, but she took the tray away and told me I had to eat my oats if I wanted more. Well Hendrick ate thirty and Jalik ate twenty-four. The others all ate at least fifteen. It is so not fair. I told her so.

“But you are a growing boy.” she said pertly, “My sister Snow says growing boys need to eat lots of healthy food.”

“This is what I think if your healthy food!” I growled and scraped all the oats on the floor. She scraped the entire pot onto my plate.

“This is what I think of you!” she said.

“Hendrick!” I yelled, “Tell her to leave me alone!” I really wished Tar was a boy, so I could punch her.

“Shut up and eat your food!” Hendrick barked. I was so mad I stormed off. But unfortunately I forgot to pack my lunch. Milik told me I had to go back and eat with everyone else. I swore I would rather die. It grew late and the lunch bell never sounded.

“I knew I should not have left Tar to do the cooking alone. Milik mumbled. I thought Tar was sulking, so she probably had not even started lunch. My temper had cooled so I elected to go see when we would be eating, Malik went with me.

When we got to the cottage, there was no smoke coming out the chimney and the place was strangely quiet. I mean Tar had not stopped talking since she arrived, so that silence was creepy. I thought that maybe she had actually left. It was a joyful thought, but it did not last long. We opened the door, and there was Tar lying on the floor. Looking more pale then usual, her eyes closed. There also appeared to be something different about her clothes. But I did not think much about that. Clothes were not important at the moment.

“She dead?” Marik gasped.

“Get the others!” I shouted and grabbed a pail of dirty dishwater. I dumped it on Tar's head. The only thing that did was make her wet. I smacked her cheek. Nothing. I tried to feel her pulse. I was not sure what I was supposed to feel, but I did not feel it. Marik rang the lunch bell and the other dwarves came running. I was certain they would be angry to find a dead girl and no lunch.

“That is no lunch!” Milik said.

“Jerome, have you kilt her?” Jalik demanded.

“If we have a funeral then everyone would have to where black.” Fenrick grunted.

“Who murdered her?” Anlick demanded.

“I guess I have to do the dishes again.” Sanick grumbled.

“Why is she wearing black?” Hendrick demanded. Hendrick was right. Tar only wore bright colors.

“Did she get skinnier?” Sanick asked, “I think she needs food!”

It was about then that I realized she was wearing some kind of corset. She probably could not breath out. Some girls did life threatening things to look beautiful. I did not find it very attractive. What was so special about looking like you had been rolled out like a skinny sausage? I rolled Tar on her side. Then I drew my knife and slit the draw strings on her corset. She immediately started choking. Anlick bathed her face in questionably clean water.

“Wha-what happened?” Tar gasped, as she tried to sit up.

“You fainted!” Hendrick grunted.

“Where did you get this?” I demanded, as I tossed her the article of questionable clothes aside.

“An old lady was selling it. She needed money to ransom her grandson from the fairies that kidnapped him.” Tar explained, her eyes growing wide. I rolled my eyes. Even an idiot should have seen through that stupid little plot. “She helped me try it on.” Tar admitted.

“She tried to kill you!” Fendrick growled.

“Oh dear!” Marik moaned, “A murderer!” I looked at Hendrick.

“Why would an old lady try to kill Tar?” I asked. Secretly I wondered if it was the hag I had seen the previous day. Maybe she was trying to get even with me for my poor manners.

“Oh she was not really old!” Tar cried, as she stood up, still breathing heavily, “I see now, that she was my stepmother in disguise. She wants to be the fairest so she sent me to die in the forest, but her huntsmen let me escape.” I snorted. What a completely unbelievable story. Tar's stepmother must have been tolerable ugly to want to compete with Tar. Milik poked me in the ribs.

“Little Tar is quite beautiful as far as human girls go.” he grunted. Tar beautiful? What a stupid thought. But it was true that she was in danger of losing her life. I rolled my eyes. Girls were so dumb. She must have angered a witch or most likely a fairy.

Day 16

We made a mistake today. We brought Tar to the mines. Hendrick said we had to watch her every minute of the day. I even had to sleep with the goat so I would be near enough if anything happened. Well, we brought Tar to the mines, and who should show up? But the miners corporation of Royuame. They needed to make certain the mines were safe. When Hendrick brought them down, I was tapping out rubies with my back to Tar. A clerk came up to us with a huge ledger.

“Are you two married?”

“Someone is married?” Tar shrieked, “I call dibs on the third slice of wedding cake.” I leaned against the wall and howled with laughter.

“You sir are an idiot!” I snickered.

“Then are you brother and sister?” the clerk continued.

“Do we look like it?” I asked still laughing. Immediately the detestable little man rushed over to the others.

“So much trouble, master.” he shouted, “An unmarried couple working in close confinements!”

“Hey!” I shouted. I was no longer laughing.

“Unthinkable!” one of the other men said.

“Is there a chaperone?”

“That would be me!” Fenrick boomed.

“Oh right!” the clerk snapped, “It is not like you will be watching them every second!”

“Stop, you rodent!” I yelled and rushed at them swinging my pickax. They fled.

“Highly unwanted, Jerome!” Hendrick growled.

“But most satisfying!” Fenrick cried.

“So who got married?” Tar asked, “And why did no one tell me?” I hate her!

Day 17

Well today we decided to keep Tar away from the mines. Anlick took her to the stream to wash laundry with him. when neither came back, we drew straws to see who had to go and find them. I got the short straw of course. I think Fenrick rigged it. Well I went down to the stream and found them. Now I am really mad. There was clothes floating down the stream. Tar was sitting up to her shoulders in water, telling a goggle eyed Anlick a story of monsters, trolls, dragons and other such stupidity. Well she did not get me all goggled eyed over that garbage. When I wanted to hear a fairy tale I would read one of my brothers' diaries.

“You two are in so much trouble!” I yelled, “I am telling Hendrick.” Girls are such morons. They cannot think properly.

Day 18

Well after yesterday, Hendrick called a conference. Everyone voted to have Tar stay at the cottage with one other person. That is everyone voted in favor of that except Fenrick and I. I think Tar should learn to take care of herself.

“Since you two have failed to be cooperate, Frenick will be her guard today and Jerome tomorrow.” Hendrick growled.

“Hooray!” Tar cried, “I shall teach you both to cook and wash laundry.”

“I can hardly wait!” Fenrick snarled. I glowered. Tar is worse then Elise, Ella and the fairy combined. She is inconveniencing me.

Day 19

I woke up very miserable. Today I am to be tortured. I have to babysit Tar. I used to work so hard to escape babysitting my nieces and nephews. Now I have to take care of someone much worse then them. I went into the cottage with Tar. I totally planned on making her so uncomfortable that she would never want me near her again.

“Jerome, your clothes are a mess.” she told me. She was one to talk. The whole bottom of her dress had been ripped off just below the knees, making a sort of a tunic. She looked like a gypsy. “I took great care to sew you something better.” she said. I laughed. There was no cloth in the dwarf cottage. I was wrong. She had used a torn sheet to make me a clean shirt. Out of some old leather aprons she had sewed a pair of breeches. Then she made a jacket out of a woolen blanket. She had even blacked my boots with soot and water. She practically forced me to go and try on the wretched garments. They fit perfectly. How would she know my measurements? When I slouched inside to show her, she made me wash my face.

“Do I look presentable now?” I growled. She shook her head.

“Sadly no. what you need is a haircut and a good combing.”

“Good thing the dwarves do not carry combs.” I snapped. She shrugged and picked up some bowls and began to juggle them. “Can I change?” I whined.

“Only if you are working in the mines.” she said and added two cups to her juggling without stopping. I stuck out my foot and tripped her. I wanted her to drop the plates and get into trouble for braking them. Yes, I am very mean. She fell over, but did not drop a single dish. She juggled them as she fell and kept doing it even from her back. The world so hates me.

Day 20

Freedom! I worked in the smithy today with Hendrick and Jalick. The others went into the mines. By and by a young man with dark shaggy hair and a scruffy beard came in. He was dressed like a raider. But was slightly built, unlike the common Flagrin raiders. He leaned against the wall of the archway and breathed heavily. Jalick doffed his green cap.

“Marrow stranger.” he grunted.

“I-I heard you sell weapons.” the man gasped, “And have your own mine.”

“Depends, who is buying!” Jalick said evenly. The man stood.

“I am Hyacinth.” he said, “I've been sent to bring a star flower back to Flagrin. I-I heard they grow in Mines here.”

“Flowers do not grow underground.” I sneered. The man stared at me. I shrugged. “Common knowledge.” I could not resist adding. He flushed.

“Far as I knew, the the star flowers only grow in the blood mines.” Hendrick said, “They be further south.” the man turned away cursing.

“He was an idiot!” I said as I went back to the bellows.

“Not really.” Hendrick grunted.

“The Star flower is a kind of gem with supposed heeling nature.”

“Oh.” I mumbled, feeling like an idiot myself.

We worked in silence for awhile. Then we had a second visitor. I have never seen anyone so beautiful as this woman. She had thick glossy golden blond curls, that hung in a river down her back. A black ebony comb covered with flashing gems was stuck in her hair. Her bright blue eyes sparkled wildly. Her skin was pale with just the faintest tinge of color. Her clothes were simple and there was a cloth covered basket hanging over her arm. her red lips parted and she smiled, revealing glistening white teeth.

“Excuse me good sirs.” she said sweetly. Her voice was rich and musical. I realized my mouth was gaping open and closed it quickly.

“Look at what chippers dragged in.” Jalick sneered as he picked up a squirrel that had frisked in. The Woman's cheeks grew a shade redder.

“We don't buy looks 'ere!” Hendrick snarled.

“I prefer stouter smaller ladies!” Jalick said, flashing a grin. His teeth were yellowed and chipped, nothing like the woman's perfect set. She turned to me. I took a step backwards, a thrill of terror running down my back. For a second her eyes narrowed, then it was gone.

“Come, sir.” she trilled, “You are a human man, surely you would not let these oafs insult me.”

“Oh yes he will!” Tar shrieked from behind me. I jumped and fell against the forge burning my hand. Tar and a very meek looking Marik emerged into the light. They were coming from the direction of the Mine entrence. The beautiful woman scowled.

“My dear child.” she hissed, “Is the boy yours that I-” Tar snatched up a poker. I was to busy doing my version of a high step dance to care what was going on of course. I accompanied myself with prefect pitch high notes. Tar chased that woman from the smithy. Hendrick and Jalick laughed. Merik said nothing. He was probably trying to avoid punishment for letting Tar come to the cave. I of course did not care one way or another. And now my hand hurt. But I could swear I saw that woman before.

Day 21

the smithy staid closed today as the seven dwarves and myself tracked down into the mine to examine and strengthen it if necessary. We worked steadily for several hours.

“Say, Hendrick.” Marik said suddenly, as he paused in the act of digging a hole for a support beam.

“Get to work!” Fenrick barked.

“But Hendrick-” Marik began.

“You heard Ol' Black!” Jalick shouted.

“You could listen to me sometimes!” Marik yelled.

“Give the kid a chance.” Milik said.

“You are only three years older then me!” Marik exploded.

“Simmer down!” Hendrick ordered gruffly. I leaned against my spear.

“So what is the problem?” I asked, my curiosity had been aroused considerably.

“Who is watching Tar?” Marik shouted. We exchanged looks. We had been so eager to come, none of us had thought about her.

“You could have been watching her.” Fenrick growled after an awkward pause.

“I did it yesterday.” Marik cried in an outraged voice. I dropped my shovel and rushed towards the ladder. I was willing to bet Tar was in trouble. I wanted to be the first to see it. The others stampeded after me.

Sure enough when we reached the cottage Tar was lying unconscious on the steps. This time she was wore no corset. But she was breathing. But it was very ragged breathing. Her cheeks were scarlet and their was a sickly sweet smell in the air. I wrinkled up my nose.

“Touch 'o fever?” Sanik grunted.

“Could be.” Anlick replied.

“Poison to be sure.” Fenrick barked.

“I think you're right.” Jalick grumbled.

“It must have been her stepmother.” Hendrick sighed.

“I should have staid with her.” Marik cried mournfully.

“No, one of them should have.” I said nodding at Sanick, Anlick, Jalik, Milik and Hendrick. We carried Tar inside and put her in one of the beds. She wore nothing on her feet so we did not have anything to take off. Jalick pulled a comb out of her hair. It was black and covered with red jewels. It was the same comb the beautiful lady had worn yesterday.

“It is heard to compare those two, but it looks like our visitor is the hag who tried killing Tar last time.” Marik babbled.

“You mean we missed the witch again?” Fenrick bellowed.

“Never mind that!” Anlick cried, “Tar needs attention.”

“I think her stepmother is mean.” I grumbled, “Is she trying to turn us into nursemaids.” no one answered.

Day 22

I surprised myself when I nominated myself to take care of Tar today. She is still unconscious. I sat in a chair by the bed and tried to write, but my thoughts kept wondering. Who was Tar? Why was her stepmother trying to kill her? Where was her father? Why did he allow his daughter to be ill-treated? Tar groaned. I glanced at her. She stirred slightly, then her eyes fluttered open.

“Tar, you are awake?” I yelled. What was wrong with me? I did not care whether or not she slept forever.

“Where am I?” she mumbled, “Who is Tar? My name is-” she stopped talking and her eyes closed. I cursed wildly. I had almost found something important out. I scowled. Then I gently touched her head. She cried out in pain, but did not open her eyes. I inspected her hair. There were several red marks behind the hair. It looked like someone had jabbed the comb into her head then dragged it. I rushed to inspect the piece of jewelery sure enough there was a little dried blood on the prongs, along with some strange blackish substance. I had found the source of the poison. Because, I could not leave her, I stood in the cottage door and hollered for Anlick and Hendrick. All seven of the dwarves came running.

“Is the witch back?”

“Is Tar dead?”

“No, but I found how she was poisoned.” I said, “And she did wake up for a bit.” Hendrick inspected the comb.

“I think we pulled it out of her hair in time.” he said, “Only a few minutes longer and it would have killed her for good.”

To Be Continued