The Diary of a NOT so Charming Prince, part 8

The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince

Prince Joseph's diary

Day 17

Dear overly tired me,

To all men out there, let me give you a word of advice. Never promise to give a lady her dearest wish until you know what it is! I learned very much from that mistake.

I arrived at the tower midday. I had a bag of sweets and a large bouquet of flowers in Polo's saddle bag. I had even groomed Lasso, whom from now on I shall be calling Punz, for reasons no one needs to be knowing. I knocked on the tower.

“Rapunzel are you home?” I called in a honey sweet voice. She appeared at the window.

“You came back?” she cried. I could almost believe she sounded happy.

“Of course I came back!” I cried, “Can I come up?”

“Just a minute.” she called back, then wrapped her braid around the hook and lowered it down to me.

Once I reached the tower I realized that I had left the flowers and sweets n the saddle bag. Once I finished cursing myself, I remembered my manners. I bowed gracefully. I even managed to regain my balance after almost tripping. For some reason she was laughing. Perhaps she is not used to such gallantry.

“My dear Rapunzel, what do you desire most?” I asked. She stared at me. I wondered if perhaps I should have bowed after the question.

“To know your name.” she said. What kind of stupid wish was that.

“You want to know my name?” I yelped, “What happened with wanting good old fashioned sweets and beautiful roses?”

“Well-”

“What happened to damsels in distress fainting and singing? What happened to girls liking flowers?”

“But-”

“How can a girl ask for something so dumb?” I noticed that her arms were crossed and she had one eyebrow raised. “What?”

“I would still like to know your name.” she said. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

“Joseph!” I said bluntly, “It is easy to remember, because all my brothers names start with J too!”

Sometimes girls are really really greedy! I mean so greedy that it bothers me. If a boy had been asked what his favorite wish was, he would have had the dignity to name only one wish. I ask Rapunzel and she names two! Greedy! Greedy! Greedy! Her first wish was to know my name, of course. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Her second wish was something that you will never ever guess! It is just as stupid as the first wish!

“I wish I could see the world!” she said. See, so dumb and stupid! She did not even wish for one small bag of gold.

“Easy, just climb down your hair and take a look!” I told her.

“That is really stupid.” she retorted.

“So is carting around a hundred feet of hair!” I snapped.

“It is not even fifteen feet.” she protested.

“Fine!” I snapped, “I shall take you to see the world!” I have never seen anyone so excited as her.

Getting out of the tower was a lot of hard, really hard work. I am totally exhausted. I climbed down first, then waited on the ground, while she unwrapped her braid. She used it like a pulley, to lower herself as far as if would go before dropping the rest of the way. I would say she dropped lightly and gracefully into my arms, and I caught her like a feather. But that would be a lie. What really happened was she dropped into my arms and flattened my like a patty cake. It was painful!

Once we were back on her feet, I put her on Polo, and grandly offered to walk. But my loyal horse would not budge without me on his back as well. He shall get a lump of sugar for that. Now I really must go. There is a whole world waiting to be seen.

Joseph the renowned traveler

P.S.

This is Rapunzel writing. Joseph lied! Polo would not move because I would not let him. I made Joseph climb up behind me.

Sheesh! Write in my diary, will you? This is private! Keep out!

Day 18

Dear soaked and much abused me,

I hate traveling! In stories you read about great adventures, but they are mostly lies. They never mention the burning nettle, rain, flies, biters, crawlers, vultures, snakes, mud, cold, heat, and the general lack of a hot meal and warm bed. Another thing is, when a girl is toting around fourteen feet of extra long hair, be prepared for a lot of back braking.

I tolerated, sitting behind Rapunzel for nearly an hour. But then I was breathing and eating hair. It was literally killing me. I told Polo one of us was getting off. Rapunzel sure was not going to be a lady and let me ride my own horse, so I considered pushing her off. But before I could, Polo bucked us both off.

“You pushed me!” Rapunzel screeched, as she hung upside down from a tree by her hair. It would have been comical if I was not lying face down in a pile of some fresh forest leftovers. I will leave it to your imagination.

“I did not push you!” I screeched, as I spat and rubbed my tongue. Punz bounded around us barking, and Polo looked down his nose at us. I really and sincerely hate traveling.

It was hours before we got Rapunzel's hair untangled. By that time, her hair was pulling half the forest. It was disgusting. Punz even went for a ride on it. GROSS! I went for my knife.

“What are you doing?” Rapunzel screeched as he dragged her hair away from me.

“Giving you a much needed haircut!” I retorted, “This journey is a no go, until you get your head sheered!”

“You cannot!” she sobbed. I stared at her, one would think that she would be eager to rid herself of at least twelve feet of the horrible hair. “Mama would murder me.” Her mother must be demented.

“Consider, that you already left her and ran away with the first available man.” I told her bluntly, “If she is not angry about that, then you are probably safe!”

“No, you do not know mama!” she protested.

“Tell her I forced you to get it cut!” I snarled. I reached for the disgusting stuff. She snapped the hair at me. “OUCH!” I screamed as the knife was flicked out of my hand. Now thanks to Miss selfish, I have an angry red welt on the palm of my hand. I can tell that it is going to be a long hard and very distressful journey.

Joseph the silent suffer