Prince Charming diary play

I would like your opinions on the first rough draft for act one of my play. It's based off my Prince Charming diary, which I've been neglecting.

~Lady Cinderella and Prince John~

Prologue

The scene is dim, the backdrop is of a house and garden. Ella Marie's father and mother are standing still. Ella is between them.

Narrator: Once upon a time... all good stories begin with once upon a time, so I shall begin this one so. Actually not all good stories begin so, but that is beside the point. Anyway, the point is that I am saying once upon a time now. (Clears throat nosily) Well, Once upon a time there lived a little girl called Ella Marie. To her mother and father she was a princess, to the world she was a merchant's daughter. (Ella Marie's father hugged her and her mother, then puts his hat on. The mother waves, as he walks away. Ella runs after him waving too.) Her father traveled constantly. (Ella and her mother leave the stage) But he always returned with more love and gifts. (Ella's father comes back on and takes off his hat. He is carrying a sack)

Ella Marie's Father: Hello, where are my lovely girls? (Ella and her mother come running the three hug)

Narrator: But Tragedy strikes even the best of people. (Ella's mother starts coughing and staggers. Ella and her father help her off the stage looking sad.) Ella Marie and her father were very sad and mourned for Ella Marie's beautiful mother. (Ella and her father come back on stage with black on. They go to the corner of they go to the corner of the stage and cast flowers on onto a grave, then they walk off stage again) But as time passed, Ella Marie's father decided that it was time for a new family to start. So one day, he returned from his travels with a new wife. (Ella rushes to meet her father, then freezes, as Lady Miranda sweeps grandly in, escorted by Ella's father, and followed by young Hazel and Blanche)

Ella Marie's father: Ella child, this is your new mother.

Young Ella Marie: How do you do? (Curtsies)

Lady Miranda: (Looks down her nose at Ella) Charmed. (Young Hazel and Blanche giggle. Everyone walks off stage)

Narrator: For a time the new family treated young Ella Marie with as much kindness as they could. (Young Ella walks onto the stage carrying a cage of mice, she sets it down with her back to the audience and pretends to shoe the mice out. Young Hazel runs on stage. She sees the mice and screams. Young Blanche runs on stage.)

Young Blanche: (Crossly) I thought sure a bear got you! (She pushes Ella, who gives a cry and falls. Young Hazel and Blanche run off laughing)

Narrator: More time passed. Ella missed her mother more and more. Her father spent more and more time on business trips, spending little time with his Ella and the new family. (Ella sits down and cries) Then one bleak day Ella revived a letter from one of her father's friends. (Servant carries letter in. Ella stands up and wipes her eyes quickly)

Servant: Here ye go ma'am. (Hands her the letter. Ella thanks him inaudibly and the servant leaves the stage. She starts to read it, then gasps and falls to her knees. Lights dim)

Narrator: Many that live deserve to die, many that die deserve to live as Gandalf once said! And so Ella Marie's father died.

Act One

Scene 1

The scene is a twofold stage. One half is the garden of Cinderella's house, the other is the training room in the palace. Light goes on in the prince's half.

John: (John comes into the room, he is clutching a sword, and stomping. A shorter man in black comes after him, grinning.) Master Won, we already-

Master Won: (Holds up his right hand and draws his sword with his left hand) Fight, your highness, fight!

John: But-

Master Won: In a real fight, young prince, you would be dead before you could say but! (They start fencing. Master Won pushes John back, but at the last moment, he rallies and begins to gain some floor. The two duel back and forth) Ah, see what practice does! (He sends John's sword flying)

John: (gritted teeth) I did practice.

Master Won: Not enough! Give me five pushups! (John drops and starts doing pushups. Maid comes in, stops, stares at the prince, and coughs. John looks up) Not now Lucinda. (Master Won waves elegantly at the maid)

Lucinda: (Looking at John) If you please your highness, your royal mother wishes me to remind you to see the tailor!

Master Won: (Looks critically at John's gym suit) He does need a new suit. This one spells poverty as they would say in my country. (John glowers at his boots, and briefly considers biting Master Won's boots)

John: (Getting to his feet) What do I need to see the tailor, for?

Lucinda: (Surprised) To try on your new suits for the balls of course.

Master Won: (Waves his fingers at Lucinda and John) Alright, shoo both of you. I have my class to bore. (John and Lucinda leave. Master Won swaggers after them. Then John, Master Won, Male servants and tailor reenter the room. The Servants are carrying armloads of clothes. John is clutching at his hair.

Master Won: Three. (he holds up his pointer, ring and pinkie fingers) Three little balls, my prince.

John: (Angrily) Why? (He tugs at his hair)

Master Won: (Reaches over and picks an imaginary speck of dust from John's jacket and flicks it away) Because how else can someone like you meet and marry yourself a bride? As they say in my country, What else can you possibly do? (Dabs at his eyes with a bit of lace) Ah, my people are so skilled with the tongue.

John: (Raises one eyebrow) Really? You could have fooled me.

Master Won: (Smiles) Ah yes, we are the masters of disguise. You never recognize what is really going on. (John looks pained. The tailor attempts to measure him. John brushes him away. Elise comes in)

Elise: (Clapping her hand) Johnny, just think, three balls. (She spins in a circle)

John: (Groaning) Please do not remind me. (The Tailor measures his waist) Get off me. (Pushes the tailor away)

Elise: (Giggling) Give him a sash.

Tailor: (Inspects the measuring tape) A nice silk with his peacock cloak, your highness?

John: (Aghast) Peacock cloak?

Tailor: (Inspects a piece of cloth) This seems rich as cream.

Master Won: (Waves his hands wildly) No, no tailor. The sash must go with the desert robe.

John: (Loudly) Desert robe?

Tailor: (Impatiently) Yes, desert robe. Ah master Won, you have excellent taste.

John: (Even louder voice) Peacock cloak? Desert Robe?

Master Won: (Looks at him) Of course.

Elise: (Clapping her hands) Yes Johnny! They are going to be themed balls!

John: (Horrified) What? NO!

Elise: (Singing) What? YES! Oh Johnny how exciting!

John: (Upset) Stop calling me that!

Master Won: (Dabbing his nose) The first ball will be the theme of the different desert tribes. It shall be most exotic.

John: Er- there is more then one tribe?

Master Won: (Annoyed) Study your history, my prince. You of course cannot expect everyone to dress exactly the same in the desert.

John: (Also annoyed) Why not?

Elise: (Annoyed as well) Who stop arguing, John!

Master Won: (Bows to Elise) Thank you, my princess. (Turns to John again) The second ball will be Pirate themed and-

John: (Interrupts) Pirate theme? (horrified) Our people have been battling the pirates for centuries! Why on Royaume would we have a ball honoring them! This is an insult to our warriors.

Elise: (Pouting) Spoilsport!

Master Won: (Irritated) Your lady mother has decreed that there shall be a pirate themed ball, so by Non So there shall be one!

John: (Stiffly) I see! What does my father say.

Master Won: (Coughing awkwardly) He was not certain whether he could attend that particular ball or not. (Growing excited) But your royal mother has decreed anyway.

John: (Tugging at his hair again) Just tell me what the third ball is. Please, do not try to spare me.

Elise: (Screeching) Peacocks! (She starts jumping up and down and clapping)

John: (Shocked) But I am allergic-

Elise: (Singing) Big pretty beautiful peacOCKs!

John: (Covers his ears) I am going to take a walk. (he walks offstage)

Tailor: I make him lovely sash!

Scene 2

Cinderella's house. The house is painted on a backdrop, but the door is one that the actors can come in and out of, it is standing open. Cinderella comes out of the door. She looks sad.

Cinderella: (Humming a lullaby softly) Sleep little one, sleep. Close your eyes. Don't make a sound. (Blanche comes outside. Her clothes are bright and her hair is in a really weird hairdo)

Blanche: Oh Darling Ella, I seemed to have misplaced my taffy skirt. Please be an angel- there is a darling.

Cinderella: (Sighing) Since you asked nicely, Blanche.

Blanche: (dabbing at her hair with a brush) I prefer Lady Blanche, it has a nicer ring. The very charming and beauteous lady Blanche.

Cinderella: (Unbelieving) You want me to call you Lady Blanche?

Blanche: (Laughing) Of course not, you silly thing. (Cinderella looks relieved) I want you to call me, the very charming and Beauteous Lady Blanche!

Cinderella: (Gasps) I beg your pardon?

Blanche: (Snickering) I shall pardon you if you tie my ribbons. (She pulls up her skirts. She is wearing ballet slipper type shoes. Looking upset, Cinderella starts to get down on her knees. Hazel comes running out. Her hair is lose, but she is wearing silly bows and a lot of makeup. She is also carrying a bucket)

Hazel: Ella sweetheart (She giggles. Ella stands up. Blanche pushes her down again)

Blanche: My ribbons, stupid!

Hazel: (Angry) Leave her alone, Blanchey! (Cinderella stands up and looks gratefully at Hazel. Blanche scowls) Ella darling. I heard that ashes are good for the skin. But my complexion is so delicate that I was sure you would try it for me.

Cinderella: (Worried) Of course, sister. (She stares at the bucket ruefully)

Hazel: (giggling) Here! (Dumps the ashes over Cinderella's head)

Cinderella: (Shrieks) Oh sister! (Blinks back tears.)

Blanche: (Snickering) Hazie you are so cunning!

Hazel: (Smirking) I know! (The two sisters link arms and swagger off.)

Hazel and Blanche: (Chanting) A certain girl called Ella, lacked the certain talent of washing, so we called her Cinderella!

Cinderella: (Whispering) That doesn't even rhyme. (Lady Miranda enters. She has a fur lined cloak and many rings on her fingers. Her nose is tilted upwards)

Lady Miranda: Ella girl, what have you done to yourself?

Cinderella: (Wipes her face) Nothing ma'am.

Lady Miranda: (Dabs at her face with handkerchief) Oh my lands, get out of sight child. I cannot be seen in the company of a ragged servant girl.

Cinderella: (Shocked) But ma'am-

Lady Miranda: (Angrily) Address me according to my station, you little brat!

Cinderella: (Bows her head) Yes my lady.

Lady Miranda: Excellent. (Swaggers off stage)

Cinderella: (Clenches her fists) This is MY house! (Kicks ash bucket) Ouch! (Hops around on one foot) Oh bother, why does everything happen to me? (Blanche comes back on stage with baskets)

Blanche: Oh Cinderella.

Cinderella: (Ignores her, and starts folding laundry and singing) In the time of the Pendragon, there dwelt a- (Blanche grabs her hair) OUCH!

Blanche: (Angrily) When I call you, you answer! (Gives Cinderella's hair a vicious tug, then lets go)

Cinderella: (Rubbing her head and smiling sweetly) My name is Ella Marie not Cinderella, so I did not realize you were speaking to me.

Blanche: (Furious) After YOU get back from market, mother is going to whip you for sassing me!

Cinderella: (Mock terror) Oh dear, I better not every come-

Blanche: (Shoves the baskets at Cinderella) Go to Market. (Storms off stage)

Cinderella: (Looks at the baskets) Oh, well in that case I will take the long way, take my time and get only the worst food I can find! (Walks off stage)

Scene 3

A thick woods. John comes whistling on stage from the right, then off the other side. He is dressed in plain peasant clothes. A second later he comes back on stage still whistling and walks off the other side. Then he comes back. This time he stops and looks around, then continues walking, whistling uncertainly. He exits then reenters. He stops in the middle of the stage and looks around again.

John: (Frowning) I could have sworn I passed that tree five times already. (Scratches chin) Or was it four? (He walks in a circle looking in every direction) Hmm.. I think I came from (looks to the right, then to the left) that way. (Points in the wrong direction. Starts going to the left. Cinderella enters carrying loaded baskets and staggering under their weight. John steps aside with a bow as she passes. She stops and looks at him)

Cinderella: Good morning sir.

John: Oh is it still- I mean good morning, fair lady. (He bows again)

Cinderella: (Grins) Yes, it is still morning.

John: Oh. (He looks up at the sky, then down at his feet, then to the side)

Cinderella: (Concerned) Are you lost, sir?

John: (Quickly) No! (Cinderella looks skeptical) I am just not certain which way is home.

Cinderella: (laughing) If you come with me, I can show you the main road. It runs past my house.

John: Thank you, my lady.

Cinderella: This way, Sir. (She gestures to the left)

John: Oh right. (Looks a little embarrassed) You needn't call me sir, my lady.

Cinderella: (laughs) And I am not a lady. Just plain Ella Marie.

John: (Laughs too) And I am just plain John, Miss Just plain Ella Marie. (He takes one of Cinderella's baskets and the two of them walk off stage laughing).

Scene 4

A Medieval kitchen. There is a big table in the center of the room. Food and dishes are spread out over it. Buckets and baskets line the walls. John and Ella enter and put their baskets on the table.

Cinderella: Thank you John. (Turns back towards the door) Now I can show you the road.

John: There is no hurry, Ella Marie.

Cinderella: (Smiles) Alright. (She gestures at a chair) Would you like to sit down? Shall I fetch you a cup of water?

John: (Looks around) So this is a kitchen.

Cinderella: (Confused) Have you never been in one.

John: (Still looking around) What? (Realizes what she said) Oh- (looks to the side and speaks to himself) Blast, she does not know I am a prince. If she finds out she will treat me like royalty.

Cinderella: (Concerned) John?

John: (Blinks) Sorry about that, I was thinking. Yes, I would like a drink of water.

Cinderella: (Smiles) I will fetch- oh- MOUSE! (She reaches for a broom)

John: (Grandly) I will get the rat. You fetch the water.

Cinderella: (Hesitantly) Alright, John. (She leaves the room. John approaches the corner where the mouse is)

John: (Reaching for the broom) Say your last words my little friend! (Hits the floor with the broom. A series of loud squeaks fill the room. John runs around hitting the floor) Come back here you little rodent! I have to kill you! Hold still for a second, will you? STOP! (He trips over a baskets, does a flip and lands on his back.) Ouch! (There is a loud squeak. John leaps to his feet and grabs for the kettle hanging on the fire. He touches it then freezes) OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW! (Starts jumping around waving his hand wildly. Walks into the corner of the table) Oof! (Starts gasping and clutching his ribs and drops into the chair) Kitchens are dangerous! (Glowers) A few warning signs would be helpful! Watch out for this pot, it will try to kill you! Or: Tables have corners so doctors stay in business! (Gasps a little bit more, then stands up and goes over to the table) What is this? (He tastes something in a pan. Immediately he makes a face and starts fanning his tongue) EWW dithuthing! Blew! (Lady Miranda, Hazel and Blanche enter the room. They stop and stare at John in shock)

Lady Miranda: (Snarls) Who in the blazes are you?

John: (Dignified) Who are you?

Lady Miranda: (Screams) I am Lady Miranda, you clod! I own this barn!

John: (Confused) Barn? I thought it was called a manor? Does the horses live in the manor then?

Hazel: (Giggling) Mum, Cinderella must have found this fool at the market. Maybe she is going to marry him.

John: (Angrily) Yes, I AM!

Lady Miranda: (Angry) Over my dead body!

John: (still angry) We shall see about that! (Looks around) Oh look mouse! (he points)

Blanche: (Screams) Save me! (jumps onto chair)

Hazel: (sighs) Oh dear! (Faints into her mother's arms)

Blanche: (Screaming) Mum, Hazel fainted again! (she fans her sister with her hands)

Lady Miranda: (shouting) I can see that, fool! (She tries to stand Hazel up, but the girl flops back into her arms again)

John: (Moves towards the door) I think I shall be leaving now.

Lady Miranda: Stop right there! (She tries to slap John. He ducks backwards and falls against the table. Some food slides off. Hazels stands up.

Hazel: (Screeches) Mum, that is our dinner! (Blanche screams)

Blanche: Get off our food! (John flips over the table and runs towards the door.

Lady Miranda/Blanche/Hazel: Cinderella! Get back here! Cinderella! You monster! Cinderella! I shall call the town watchmen! CINDERELLA! (As John runs out, he bumps into Cinderella coming back in with a cup of water)

Cinderella: (Surprised) Oh, what happened? (Holds the cup up so it won't be spilled) You look like a-.

John: There is a meeting of evil queens inside! (He runs off)

Cinderella: What? (Looks over her shoulders) Oh. (Her shoulders slump)