I would like your opinions on the first rough draft for act one of my play. It's based off my Prince Charming diary, which I've been neglecting.
~Lady
Cinderella and Prince John~
Prologue
The scene is dim, the
backdrop is of a house and garden. Ella Marie's father and mother are
standing still. Ella is between them.
Narrator:
Once upon a time... all good stories begin with once upon a time, so
I shall begin this one so. Actually not all good stories begin so,
but that is beside the point. Anyway, the point is that I am saying
once upon a time now. (Clears throat nosily) Well, Once upon a
time there lived a little girl called Ella Marie. To her mother and
father she was a princess, to the world she was a merchant's
daughter. (Ella Marie's father hugged her and her mother, then
puts his hat on. The mother waves, as he walks away. Ella runs after
him waving too.) Her father traveled constantly. (Ella and her
mother leave the stage) But he always returned with more love and
gifts. (Ella's father comes back on and takes off his hat. He is
carrying a sack)
Ella
Marie's Father: Hello, where are my lovely girls? (Ella and
her mother come running the three hug)
Narrator:
But Tragedy strikes even the best of people. (Ella's mother starts
coughing and staggers. Ella and her father help her off the stage
looking sad.) Ella Marie and her father were very sad and mourned
for Ella Marie's beautiful mother. (Ella and her father come back
on stage with black on. They go to the corner of they go to the
corner of the stage and cast flowers on onto a grave, then they walk
off stage again) But as time passed, Ella Marie's father decided
that it was time for a new family to start. So one day, he returned
from his travels with a new wife. (Ella rushes to meet her father,
then freezes, as Lady Miranda sweeps grandly in, escorted by Ella's
father, and followed by young Hazel and Blanche)
Ella
Marie's father: Ella child, this is your new mother.
Young
Ella Marie: How do you do? (Curtsies)
Lady
Miranda: (Looks down her nose at Ella) Charmed. (Young
Hazel and Blanche giggle. Everyone walks off stage)
Narrator:
For a time the new family treated young Ella Marie with as much
kindness as they could. (Young Ella walks onto the stage carrying
a cage of mice, she sets it down with her back to the audience and
pretends to shoe the mice out. Young Hazel runs on stage. She sees
the mice and screams. Young Blanche runs on stage.)
Young
Blanche: (Crossly) I thought sure a bear got you! (She
pushes Ella, who gives a cry and falls. Young Hazel and Blanche run
off laughing)
Narrator:
More time passed. Ella missed
her mother more and more. Her father spent more and more time on
business trips, spending little time with his Ella and the new
family. (Ella sits down
and cries) Then one
bleak day Ella revived a letter from one of her father's friends.
(Servant carries letter in. Ella stands up and wipes her eyes
quickly)
Servant:
Here ye go ma'am. (Hands
her the letter. Ella thanks him inaudibly and the servant leaves the
stage. She starts to read it, then gasps and falls to her knees.
Lights dim)
Narrator:
Many that live deserve
to die, many that die deserve to live as Gandalf once said! And so
Ella Marie's father died.
Act One
Scene 1
The scene is a twofold stage. One half is the garden of
Cinderella's house, the other is the training room in the palace.
Light goes on in the prince's half.
John:
(John comes into the room, he is clutching a sword, and stomping. A
shorter man in black comes after him, grinning.) Master
Won, we already-
Master
Won: (Holds
up his right hand and draws his sword with his left hand)
Fight, your highness, fight!
John:
But-
Master
Won: In a real fight, young
prince, you would be dead before you could say but! (They
start fencing. Master Won pushes John back, but at the last moment,
he rallies and begins to gain some floor. The two duel back and
forth) Ah, see what
practice does! (He sends
John's sword flying)
John:
(gritted teeth)
I did practice.
Master
Won: Not enough! Give me five
pushups! (John drops and
starts doing pushups. Maid comes in, stops, stares at the prince, and
coughs. John looks up)
Not now Lucinda. (Master
Won waves elegantly at the maid)
Lucinda:
(Looking at John)
If you please your highness, your royal mother wishes me to remind
you to see the tailor!
Master
Won: (Looks
critically at John's gym suit)
He does need a new suit. This one spells poverty as they would say in
my country. (John glowers
at his boots, and briefly considers biting Master Won's boots)
John:
(Getting to his feet)
What do I need to see the tailor, for?
Lucinda:
(Surprised)
To try on your new suits for the balls of course.
Master
Won: (Waves his fingers at
Lucinda and John)
Alright, shoo both of you. I have my class to bore. (John
and Lucinda leave. Master Won swaggers after them. Then John, Master
Won, Male servants and tailor reenter the room. The Servants are
carrying armloads of clothes. John is clutching at his hair.
Master Won: Three. (he holds up his pointer, ring and pinkie fingers)
Three little balls, my prince.
John: (Angrily) Why? (He tugs at his hair)
Master Won: (Reaches over and picks an imaginary speck of dust from
John's jacket and flicks it away) Because how else can someone like
you meet and marry yourself a bride? As they say in my country, What
else can you possibly do? (Dabs at his eyes with a bit of lace) Ah,
my people are so skilled with the tongue.
John: (Raises one eyebrow) Really? You could have fooled me.
Master Won: (Smiles) Ah yes, we are the masters of disguise. You
never recognize what is really going on. (John looks pained. The
tailor attempts to measure him. John brushes him away. Elise comes
in)
Elise: (Clapping her hand) Johnny, just think, three balls. (She
spins in a circle)
John: (Groaning) Please do not remind me. (The Tailor measures his
waist) Get off me. (Pushes the tailor away)
Elise: (Giggling) Give him a sash.
Tailor: (Inspects the measuring tape) A nice silk with his peacock
cloak, your highness?
John: (Aghast) Peacock cloak?
Tailor: (Inspects a piece of cloth) This seems rich as cream.
Master Won: (Waves his hands wildly) No, no tailor. The sash must go
with the desert robe.
John: (Loudly) Desert robe?
Tailor: (Impatiently) Yes, desert robe. Ah master Won, you have
excellent taste.
John: (Even louder voice) Peacock cloak? Desert Robe?
Master Won: (Looks at him) Of course.
Elise: (Clapping her hands) Yes Johnny! They are going to be themed
balls!
John: (Horrified) What? NO!
Elise: (Singing) What? YES! Oh Johnny how exciting!
John: (Upset) Stop calling me that!
Master Won: (Dabbing his nose) The first ball will be the theme of
the different desert tribes. It shall be most exotic.
John: Er- there is more then one tribe?
Master Won: (Annoyed) Study your history, my prince. You of course
cannot expect everyone to dress exactly the same in the desert.
John: (Also annoyed) Why not?
Elise: (Annoyed as well) Who stop arguing, John!
Master Won: (Bows to Elise) Thank you, my princess. (Turns to John
again) The second ball will be Pirate themed and-
John: (Interrupts) Pirate theme? (horrified) Our people have been
battling the pirates for centuries! Why on Royaume would we have a
ball honoring them! This is an insult to our warriors.
Elise: (Pouting) Spoilsport!
Master Won: (Irritated) Your lady mother has decreed that there shall
be a pirate themed ball, so by Non So there shall be one!
John: (Stiffly) I see! What does my father say.
Master Won: (Coughing awkwardly) He was not certain whether he could
attend that particular ball or not. (Growing excited) But your royal
mother has decreed anyway.
John: (Tugging at his hair again) Just tell me what the third ball
is. Please, do not try to spare me.
Elise: (Screeching) Peacocks! (She starts jumping up and down and
clapping)
John: (Shocked) But I am allergic-
Elise: (Singing) Big pretty beautiful peacOCKs!
John: (Covers his ears) I am going to take a walk. (he walks
offstage)
Tailor: I make him lovely sash!
Scene 2
Cinderella's
house. The house is painted on a backdrop, but the door is one that
the actors can come in and out of, it is standing open. Cinderella
comes out of the door. She looks sad.
Cinderella:
(Humming a lullaby
softly) Sleep little
one, sleep. Close your eyes. Don't make a sound. (Blanche
comes outside. Her clothes are bright and her hair is in a really
weird hairdo)
Blanche:
Oh Darling Ella, I seemed to have misplaced my taffy skirt. Please be
an angel- there is a darling.
Cinderella:
(Sighing)
Since you asked nicely, Blanche.
Blanche:
(dabbing at her hair with
a brush) I prefer Lady
Blanche, it has a nicer ring. The very charming and beauteous lady
Blanche.
Cinderella:
(Unbelieving)
You want me to call you Lady Blanche?
Blanche:
(Laughing)
Of course not, you silly thing. (Cinderella
looks relieved) I want
you to call me, the very charming and Beauteous Lady Blanche!
Cinderella:
(Gasps)
I beg your pardon?
Blanche:
(Snickering)
I shall pardon you if you tie my ribbons. (She
pulls up her skirts. She is wearing ballet slipper type shoes.
Looking upset, Cinderella starts to get down on her knees. Hazel
comes running out. Her hair is lose, but she is wearing silly bows
and a lot of makeup. She is also carrying a bucket)
Hazel:
Ella sweetheart (She
giggles. Ella stands up. Blanche pushes her down again)
Blanche:
My ribbons, stupid!
Hazel:
(Angry)
Leave her alone, Blanchey! (Cinderella
stands up and looks gratefully at Hazel. Blanche scowls)
Ella darling. I heard that ashes are good for the skin. But my
complexion is so delicate that I was sure you would try it for me.
Cinderella: (Worried) Of course, sister. (She stares at the bucket
ruefully)
Hazel: (giggling) Here! (Dumps the ashes over Cinderella's head)
Cinderella: (Shrieks) Oh sister! (Blinks back tears.)
Blanche: (Snickering) Hazie you are so cunning!
Hazel: (Smirking) I know! (The two sisters link arms and swagger
off.)
Hazel and Blanche: (Chanting) A certain girl called Ella, lacked the
certain talent of washing, so we called her Cinderella!
Cinderella: (Whispering) That doesn't even rhyme. (Lady Miranda
enters. She has a fur lined cloak and many rings on her fingers. Her
nose is tilted upwards)
Lady Miranda: Ella girl, what have you done to yourself?
Cinderella: (Wipes her face) Nothing ma'am.
Lady Miranda: (Dabs at her face with handkerchief) Oh my lands, get
out of sight child. I cannot be seen in the company of a ragged
servant girl.
Cinderella: (Shocked) But ma'am-
Lady Miranda: (Angrily) Address me according to my station, you
little brat!
Cinderella: (Bows her head) Yes my lady.
Lady Miranda: Excellent. (Swaggers off stage)
Cinderella: (Clenches her fists) This is MY house! (Kicks ash bucket)
Ouch! (Hops around on one foot) Oh bother, why does everything happen
to me? (Blanche comes back on stage with baskets)
Blanche: Oh Cinderella.
Cinderella: (Ignores her, and starts folding laundry and singing) In
the time of the Pendragon, there dwelt a- (Blanche grabs her hair)
OUCH!
Blanche: (Angrily) When I call you, you answer! (Gives Cinderella's
hair a vicious tug, then lets go)
Cinderella: (Rubbing her head and smiling sweetly) My name is Ella
Marie not Cinderella, so I did not realize you were speaking to me.
Blanche: (Furious) After YOU get back from market, mother is going to
whip you for sassing me!
Cinderella: (Mock terror) Oh dear, I better not every come-
Blanche: (Shoves the baskets at Cinderella) Go to Market. (Storms off
stage)
Cinderella: (Looks at the baskets) Oh, well in that case I will take
the long way, take my time and get only the worst food I can find!
(Walks off stage)
Scene 3
A thick woods. John comes whistling on stage from the right, then
off the other side. He is dressed in plain peasant clothes. A second
later he comes back on stage still whistling and walks off the other
side. Then he comes back. This time he stops and looks around, then
continues walking, whistling uncertainly. He exits then reenters. He
stops in the middle of the stage and looks around again.
John: (Frowning) I could have sworn I passed that tree five times
already. (Scratches chin) Or was it four? (He walks in a circle
looking in every direction) Hmm.. I think I came from (looks to the
right, then to the left) that way. (Points in the wrong direction.
Starts going to the left. Cinderella enters carrying loaded baskets
and staggering under their weight. John steps aside with a bow as she
passes. She stops and looks at him)
Cinderella: Good morning sir.
John: Oh is it still- I mean good morning, fair lady. (He bows again)
Cinderella: (Grins) Yes, it is still morning.
John: Oh. (He looks up at the sky, then down at his feet, then to the
side)
Cinderella: (Concerned) Are you lost, sir?
John: (Quickly) No! (Cinderella looks skeptical) I am just not
certain which way is home.
Cinderella: (laughing) If you come with me, I can show you the main
road. It runs past my house.
John: Thank you, my lady.
Cinderella: This way, Sir. (She gestures to the left)
John: Oh right. (Looks a little embarrassed) You needn't call me sir,
my lady.
Cinderella: (laughs) And I am not a lady. Just plain Ella Marie.
John: (Laughs too) And I am just plain John, Miss Just plain Ella
Marie. (He takes one of Cinderella's baskets and the two of them walk
off stage laughing).
Scene 4
A Medieval kitchen. There is a big table in the center of the
room. Food and dishes are spread out over it. Buckets and baskets
line the walls. John and Ella enter and put their baskets on the
table.
Cinderella: Thank you John. (Turns back towards the door) Now I can
show you the road.
John: There is no hurry, Ella Marie.
Cinderella: (Smiles) Alright. (She gestures at a chair) Would you
like to sit down? Shall I fetch you a cup of water?
John: (Looks around) So this is a kitchen.
Cinderella: (Confused) Have you never been in one.
John: (Still looking around) What? (Realizes what she said) Oh-
(looks to the side and speaks to himself) Blast, she does not know I
am a prince. If she finds out she will treat me like royalty.
Cinderella: (Concerned) John?
John: (Blinks) Sorry about that, I was thinking. Yes, I would like a
drink of water.
Cinderella: (Smiles) I will fetch- oh- MOUSE! (She reaches for a
broom)
John: (Grandly) I will get the rat. You fetch the water.
Cinderella: (Hesitantly) Alright, John. (She leaves the room. John
approaches the corner where the mouse is)
John: (Reaching for the broom) Say your last words my little friend!
(Hits the floor with the broom. A series of loud squeaks fill the
room. John runs around hitting the floor) Come back here you little
rodent! I have to kill you! Hold still for a second, will you? STOP!
(He trips over a baskets, does a flip and lands on his back.) Ouch!
(There is a loud squeak. John leaps to his feet and grabs for the
kettle hanging on the fire. He touches it then freezes)
OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW! (Starts jumping around waving his hand wildly.
Walks into the corner of the table) Oof! (Starts gasping and
clutching his ribs and drops into the chair) Kitchens are dangerous!
(Glowers) A few warning signs would be helpful! Watch out for this
pot, it will try to kill you! Or: Tables have corners so doctors stay
in business! (Gasps a little bit more, then stands up and goes over
to the table) What is this? (He tastes something in a pan.
Immediately he makes a face and starts fanning his tongue) EWW
dithuthing! Blew! (Lady Miranda, Hazel and Blanche enter the room.
They stop and stare at John in shock)
Lady Miranda: (Snarls) Who
in the blazes are you?
John: (Dignified) Who are
you?
Lady Miranda: (Screams) I am
Lady Miranda, you clod! I own this barn!
John: (Confused) Barn? I
thought it was called a manor? Does the horses live in the manor
then?
Hazel: (Giggling) Mum,
Cinderella must have found this fool at the market. Maybe she is
going to marry him.
John: (Angrily) Yes, I AM!
Lady Miranda: (Angry) Over
my dead body!
John: (still angry) We shall
see about that! (Looks around) Oh look mouse! (he points)
Blanche: (Screams) Save me!
(jumps onto chair)
Hazel: (sighs) Oh dear!
(Faints into her mother's arms)
Blanche: (Screaming) Mum,
Hazel fainted again! (she fans her sister with her hands)
Lady Miranda: (shouting) I
can see that, fool! (She tries to stand Hazel up, but the girl flops
back into her arms again)
John: (Moves towards the
door) I think I shall be leaving now.
Lady Miranda: Stop right
there! (She tries to slap John. He ducks backwards and falls against
the table. Some food slides off. Hazels stands up.
Hazel: (Screeches) Mum, that
is our dinner! (Blanche screams)
Blanche: Get off our food!
(John flips over the table and runs towards the door.
Lady Miranda/Blanche/Hazel:
Cinderella! Get back here! Cinderella! You monster! Cinderella! I
shall call the town watchmen! CINDERELLA! (As John runs out, he bumps
into Cinderella coming back in with a cup of water)
Cinderella: (Surprised) Oh,
what happened? (Holds the cup up so it won't be spilled) You look
like a-.
John: There is a meeting of evil queens inside! (He runs off)
Cinderella: What? (Looks over her shoulders) Oh. (Her shoulders
slump)
