A Catholic Author: Prince Charming's Diary, part 8

Prince Charming's Diary

Prince John

Day 18

The ship decorations were nice. I liked the rock formations around the pond in the garden. They made one think of mysterious treasure caves. But believe me, I have seen father's sea reports. Pirate attacks! Pirates attacks! Pirate attacks! Plus dead people! Why on Royaume would mother want to have a pirate themed ball? What is it with women thinking pirates are exotic and romantic? They are not! They are greedy evil thieves!

Belle is feeling sick so James stayed with her in their chamber, and I taught their ugly offspring how to dance. Ugh! What a nightmare! I do not care if the child is only three, or is it two? I do not remember, but she should know how to dance!

Only seven hours until the ball. I am not looking foreword to dressing up in my pirate costume. I know father does not care about honoring pirates anymore then I do. He tried to tell mother that he would be away for the second ball, but she cried and he said he could make it back. If my future wife ever forces any of our future children to have a themed ball, I shall most certainly, most probably maybe, at least I will try to let them chose the themas themselves. Well, I did spend the next seven hours making a general nuisance of myself.

“Your Highness, you should practice your half step!” Master Won said, as he materialized behind me, after I ditched my niece on Elise. I scowled. No one ever danced the half step. It was a stupid little dance, which made the dancer look like a fashionable fool. Nevertheless I practiced until the guests began to arrive. To further add to my lists of complaints, I shall describe some of our silly costumes. I was wearing clothes, I only wear when I inspect the stables, before they are cleaned, over see the cleaning of the gerdrobe or go berrying with my nieces and nephews. The boots were the same ones I wore, when I helped one of Elise's pet pigs get out of a tree. I was covered in mud when I finished. Not just the boots.

“I look terrible!” I told Belle, as she showed me how to adjust my weird hat. It looked like someone had crushed one side of it.

“You look like a pirate.” She snickered. I did not take that as a compliment.

Once more I stood between my parents thrones and tried not to meet the gaze of any of the princess, as they curtsied and simpered at me. I only smiled at one. Elaine's little sister, or forgot her name, something that starts with V I think. But she is like five, and not even interested in marrying me. I cannot say the same for the other princess. I did not see Lady Cinderella, but I did see Lady Miranda. She did not have Ella Marie with her, unfortunately. But she did have her two horrible other daughters with her. Let me see, someone introduced them to me as the very charming Hazel and beauteous Blanche. Neither title applied to them in the slightest. Both acted like they had never met me before. But I knew full well, that both of them remembered the way they had treated me, at their house.

“Ooo, you are so charming, your highness!” Hazel, or maybe it was Blanche said.

“I wish I could say the same about you.” I said sternly. For the first time I did not even feel a little shy. I felt angry. Her jaw dropped so low I could see clear down her throat.

About this time Lady Cinderella came in. Her dress looked ridiculous, and she admitted as much. She was wearing some kind of black leather vest thing over a baggy sleeved dress and long brown skirt. She looked like someone who worked in a cheep tavern. I laughed at her clothes and she laughed at mine. It was not awkward at all. But at least she was not dressed like Elise. Elise was wearing a sleeveless flowered gown that was split up to the waist in both the back and the front. Under that she was wearing breeches and high heeled leather boots. She was also wearing the same kind of shirt as Cinderella. I danced every dance with Cinderella. It was fun, but she seemed scared of Lady Mildred. I did not blame her. Lady Mildred scared me too. She glowered at us.

Day 19

The same thing happened as last time. The clock struck midnight and Lady Cinderella took off. I do not think I wont to marry someone who disappears every time the clock strikes midnight. I like Lady Cinderella, but not as much as Ella Marie. Tomorrow is the last ball, so I shall visit her the day after that. I really wish she would come to the ball. Maybe, just maybe I will visit her later today and ask her to come. Who cares if she is not dressed like a peacock. Peacocks are stupid anyway.

I spotted Joseph from all the way across the room, even though he was wearing a ridiculous bearded mask. Who did he think he was? A fearsome pirate?

“Hello, Joseph.” I whispered, as I joined him.

“Wha-who me?” he yelped, “Come on John, admit you cannot recognize me.”

“Sorry.” I said. I felt like laughing, who could not recognize Joseph? Then I told him about my problem with Lady Cinderella, Ella Marie, and that mother wanted me to marry a princess. Probably Shelwhatshername.

“To bad, that is your problem!” he said unsympathetically. That is the last time I tell him anything. But I guess he was mad because I recognized him. To bad. He annoyed me and I annoyed him. What are twins for if not annoying each other.

To Be continued

Costumes for the Pirate Themed ball