Prince Charming's Diary, part 7

Prince Charming's Diary

Prince John

Day 16

“What time is it?” Cinderella asked, her face turning the color of split pea soup. At least that is what it looked like in the candlelight.

“Midnight!” I said as I pointed at the clock. Lady Cinderella let out the most undignified screech I have ever heard. Then she yelled something about a pumpkin, a bunch of animals and glass slippers. Then she ran off. She literally just ran and left me standing there awkwardly. My Ella Marie would never have done such a terrible thing. I am highly displeased.

After Cinderella left, there really was not anything to do. I had no wish to dance with any princesses. Especially princesses that will take that as a sign that I shall marry them. But when I do not, they will declare war on us. Now that would just be really mean. So I did what I thought was the best thing someone in my predicament could do. I went to bed. After all I was really tired. I cannot be expected to stay up all night and still be away in the morning. I plan to sleep all day. That way my family cannot start screaming at me. A fellow needs his rest after staying up until Midnight.

Day 17

I ventured downstairs today. Perhaps the details of the Ball will be a bit hazy now and no one will comment on my sudden disappearance. Father looks up from his breakfast pork chop.

“Sooooo, where did you disappear to last night?” he asks, and he says it in this really annoying voice.

“I did not see that mysterious princess for a long time.” Jerome says looking at me with an obviously fake innocent look.

“I did not see you at all yesterday!” Elise comments, while smiling evilly.

“Were you by chance writing to a girl?” Jerome asks as he rubbed his hands together, looking like a villain.

“Remember when writing portray for your lady friend, do not rate her below the gold!” James said. Belle nodded firmly.

“She will never marry you!” she said. James rolled his eyes. Then he began to chant.

“I love gold!

I love satin cloaks!

I love my food!

But you are just as good too!

I rank you just below the gold!

You of course wish to be queen!

You shall be my queen!”

Belle threw her plate at him, then chased him out of the hall. For a woman six months expecting she certainly could move fast. There ugly little girl ran after them screaming.

“Mama, don't hit papa! MAMA!” They all disappeared, leaving us in peace.

“Sooo you were saying John?” Jerome asked quickly bringing up me again.

“I was resting!” I muttered, “You made me stay up until midnight! I need my sleep!”

“Well, get ready, get set, get going for tomorrow!” Jerome yelled.

“That is the pirate ball, right?” Justin asked.

“I am so excited!” Elise cried as she clapped her hands and bounced up and down.

“Try feeding an excitable two year old!” Jaden griped as he shoveled a spoonful of mashed prunes into his one year old son's mouth. The evil child promptly spat it across the room.

“Tell your son to keep his goo on himself!” Eleanor screeched as she wiped the prunes off herself. Justin smiled sweetly and handed her his handkerchief.

“Why are we having a pirate theme?” Jerome asked, “I thought pirates were bad?”

“As your mother!” father said.

“Pirates raid and steal from us, why celebrate them?” Jaden asked.

“Ask your mother!” Father said again.

“No one answered me.” Justin complained, “Is the pirate ball tomorrow?” I slunk out of the room.