The Diary of a NOT so Charming prince part 3

The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince

Prince Joseph's diary

Day 4

Dear Me,

It was very early this morning, I mean really early. The sun was only just starting to come up. Well, I was awakened by someone talking.

“Rapunzel? Rapunzel, you selfish brat, wake up?” someone with a very good pair of lungs was screeching. This selfish woman was destroying my beauty sleep. The nerve! Well, anyway, I got up, and grabbed my bow and arrows. You never know when the odd chance will come, where an arrow will accidentally slip of the string and kill someone you are angry with. I did not want to spoil my very possible chances. After all this person who dearly wanted Rapunzel to wake up, ought to know that there could be other sleeping nearby.

Standing at the foot of the tower was a woman. I would not know if she was young or not. But her face could have soured sugar! I think her hair was either black or blond, I am not really certain. A fellow cannot be expected to know everything. I believe she had some sort of gray cat. Or it possibly was a brown dog creature. As I sad before, a fellow cannot know everything.

I was still staring at this rather impressive woman, who was screeching her fool head off, when a second woman appeared in the window of the tower.

“Oh sister Gothel?” she calls, “Are you returned?” Now this is really stupid, since this sister Gothel has obviously returned.

“Rapunzel, throw down your hair or you shall get no dinner!” sister Gothel retorts. Her little beastie yowls and curdles my ears. But anyway, I could have been hearing things. There is know way this Rapunzel would take off her hair and throw it down, just by lemon face's say so.

You will never believe what happened! Not in a thousand years! Rapunzel threw her braid out the window! It was literally fifteen feet long if not longer! I am serious! I knew you would not believe me! WOW! I am really shocked! Phew! This is literally insane. WOW! It also happens to be very blond, and shines like gold! WOW! I could totally get used to staring at hair like that, no matter how ugly the face was.

I was still admiring that rotten hair, when Lasso goes charging out of our hiding place and starts barking wildly.

“Wild dogs, sister!” Rapunzel screeches. Sister Gothel puts down her mutt.

“Sic him darling Lolo, my sweet little pet!” she coos. As I escape on Polo I wonder who would be fool enough to name their good for nothing cat, or is it a dog, Lolo? Sappy!

Joseph the informed

Day 5

Dear exhausted Me,

Sweet darling little Lolo, who is really an evil vicious reincarnation of the black lord, chased poor me, Polo and Lasso all the way to the edge of the forest yesterday. It took forever to get back. I believe I shall lodge a complaint with someone or other! I am seriously put out! But I shall go back and believe me, as soon as I retrieve my bow and one arrow, I shall put an end to darling sweet little Lolo.

I reached the tower by late afternoon, but some jerk had stolen my bow and arrows! I shall really file a complaint now! But HA I know the secret to getting into the tower, and believe me, I shall use it! Can you guess what I am about to do?

I found myself a nice stout stick, then marched up to that crummy tower. Polo and Lasso trailed a long behind me. It feels good to have a little backup, even if they are only a horse and a dog! They are my best friends! All those of you who are dumb enough to remember that I have a twin brother, don't you dare ask why he isn't my best friend! If he was my best friend, he would be right here with me, getting torn to pieces by Lolo the evil little thing!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I found the stick. It was nice and stout, remember? Well, I banged on the side of the tower with it.

“Rapunzel, oh Rapunzel let down your braid! Your very long braid!” I yelled. The girl's face appeared in the window.

“Who in the name of Gascony are you?” she shrieked.

“I don't know this Gascony.” I told her, “But I have a bone to pick with dear sister Gothel witch and her disgusting rodent! Now let down your hair, a ladder would be preferable, but hair will do just fine!” She slammed the shutters on the window! Without letting down her hair. Lasso growled at her. All I could do was bend down, pet him and call him a good dog.

Joseph the very angry prince

Day 6

Dear still angry and slightly bored me,

I am yawning! I am so bored! I had to come home, because the wedding was today. Did Jaden and Justin really have to have their weddings in the middle of my busiest day? Ugh! I hate weddings! I was late arriving home, so I did not have time to change. I ran straight to the chapel. To make matters worse, I forgot to lock Lasso in the stable with Polo, so Lasso followed me into the chapel. Justin was saying his vows when I burst into the chapel. Lasso ran straight up the isle and jumped up on Princess Eleanor. Her gown isn't very white anymore. She started screaming.

“What am I supposed to to do?” Justin asked with a shrug.

“Say I do!” James yelled. His wife, that merchant's daughter, hit him! Quite satisfying.

“Joseph!” mother screech, nearly bursting my eardrums.

“I do!” Justin yelled.

“Mama, Joseph is ruining the wedding!” tattle tale Elise screeches.

“Joseph, stop!” Jaden yells, “Get this mutt off your new sister-in-law!”

“I think she looks good with mutt prints on her!” Brateroo Elaine says. I have to agree with her.

“Oh boy, some real fun!” Jerome yells.

“Boo!” my cousin Kane jeers. My aunt starts yelling at him. Lasso and I slink out of the chapel. I really hate weddings.

Joseph the grounded and very much in trouble prince.