The
Diary of a Not So Charming Prince
Prince Joseph's diary
Day
7
Dear
Lonely Me,
I
am in so much trouble! Mother has forbidden me to leave my bed
chamber. She has assured me that I am grounded from everything fun!
It is so not fair! Elise came by to see me, after the first long
hour.
“Mama,
says you are a very naughty boy!” she said coolly. Girls are really
big pains.
“I
am hardly a naughty boy, anymore!” I snapped, “I'm a grownup!”
She cocked her head, in that irritating girlish way.
“Well,
then you are a very evil Prince!” she said, “The kind that try to
kill their nephews, in all the stories!” Not that I care what my
little child sister thinks of me, she made me nervous. The evil
princes in the stories, always came to a really bad end! Jailed for
life! Hanged! Beheaded! Banished!
“Get
out of here!” I yelled at her, “I don't need to kill Jaden to get
this rotten castle! I got my own princess!” I was sorry as soon as
the words had left my mouth. OOPS! Elise is the biggest gossip too! I
am so doomed!
“You?
A princess?” she laughed scornfully.
“You
would be surprised!” I snarled.
“Not
really!” she said with a sneer, “After all, Justin married that
merchant's daughter!”
“Because
no princess would have him!” I snapped.
“And
James married Princess Eleanor!” Elise continued.
“And
Jaden married the brataroo!” I cried impatiently. Elise raised her
eyebrows.
“If
they could get married, I have every belief that you-”
“You
know what.” I interrupted, “Elaine is not as big of a brat as
you!” She glared at me.
“MOTHER?”
she screamed, then went running down the corridor, “MOTHER? Joseph
is calling me a brat!” Me and my big mouth! I am so doomed to spend
eternity in this chamber! Blast! Well, the minute I am allowed out, I
am heading right back to the forest! I would rather fight sweet
darlin' what's its name then be bored to death!”
Joseph
the
ill-treated prince
Day
8
Dear
still lonely me,
I
am bitter again. I am really bitter! I mean really really bitter!
Should I capitalize it? Yes? IT! HAHA! I am so funny! To bad no one
else thinks so! Anyway, I had plenty of time yesterday to think up
some funny jokes. I tried a few on John when he came up for bed, but
he has no sense of humor.
I
actually forgot what I was going to write. Oh yes, mother said I
could go hunting if John went with me. She says I need a chaperone. A
chaperone!!!??!! John is my twin brother! My younger twin brother! I
am so offended! Besides he hates hunting! UGH! It is so not fair! She
was basically saying no!
After
lunch, John comes into the chamber for his dancing shoes! DANCING
SHOES? Why would a fellow need dancing shoes! He hates dancing! For a
person that hates everything, he certainly is dedicated to
everything!
“John
drop those high heeled ladies shoes and go hunting with me!” I tell
him in my nicest voice.
“You
could say please!” he replied without even looking at me. I do not
need to worry about my manners until he has gained a few! UGH!
“Never
mind the please, lets leave right now!” I said. When a fellow is in
a hurry, he can't waist time being polite.
“Goodbye!”
John says and takes off, leaving me to suffer another whole day in
our bed chamber. I am so going to kill him!
Joseph
the prince who wishes he did not have a twin brother
Day
9
Dear
clever crafty me,
I
am so smart! Oh wait, let me get the part over with, where I am not
so smart! Somehow or other Elise spread the story throughout the
entire castle that I had a secret love in the forest! Girls are so
small minded! I said I had a princess, I never said I had a secret
love! Where did she get that idea from? Mother wanted me to tell her
weather or not my love was a princess, and if she was going to
inherit a glorious kingdom. Mother always thinks about the details
like that.
“I
shall be sure to ask her.” I told mother.
Then
Jaden comes in. He has this stupid look on his face. It is the, I am
older then you and so much smarter, look.
“Joseph,
I know you rarely think and act impulsively.” he said. I recognized
the beginning of an elderly brother lecture.
“I'm
not the one that got himself turned into a frog!” I told him. He
left. Sheesh! One would think he was offended.
Then
James comes in the room. Whatever advice he plans on giving me, about
my secret love is sure to be terrible.
“Joseph,
when you propose to your darling, just because she says no does not
mean, you won't get her if you ask about twenty more times.” he
told me. That's actually pretty good advice. But apparently the
merchant's daughter didn't think so. She grabbed him by the ear and
told him he would make a terrible father! UGH! I'm to old to be an
uncle! I feel ancient! I'm going to die alone and unloved! I could
cry!
I
shut the door in Justin's face before he could give me any advice.
They think that just because they are married, they know more about
courting then me! But I know twice as much as them! James was a
beast. He scared Belle into excepting him. Justin courted a sleeping
girl. And Jaden was a frog. Elaine couldn't get anyone else to marry
her! She's probably sad that I turned her down flat!
Oh,
I believe I forgot about my cleverness. Allow me a moment to bask in
all your admiration. Now I shall tell you what I did that was so
gloriously clever. Hold on a second, I have to think. Blast it all, I
cannot remember! BLAST! I got sidetracked! Oh well! Anyway, father
said I was free. So I am going to ride back up to the tower and camp
there again! I just need to collect Lasso from the butcher shop.
Mother sent him to be made into dog food! CRUEL!
Joseph
the wisest of the wise
