Another thing, Sir Patrono is from "The Red Lion" books, and Ben Horsemaster is the horsemaster's apprentice in the "Shadow Warrior" series.
Prince
Charming's Diary
Prince John
Day One
I am nineteen years old,
nearly twenty. I have really black ragged hair, that never stays
flat, and a beard that refuses to grow beyond a sick wispy thing. I
am a very boring person, I will admit. I have read some of my
brothers diaries and know that I will have nothing interesting to
write. Jaden and his wife Elaine are ruling her father's kingdom now.
Justin and his wife Eleanor, are ruling her father's kingdom. James
and his wife Belle are ruling what used to be Grandfather's summer
palace. Joseph, my twin brother, refuses to rule any place, he would
rather be a thief, I am not sure if I should be embarrassed or not.
Mother refuses to speak to him anymore. But even he is married. Her
name is Rapunzel. Unfortunately she is a thief and was raised by a
witch. At least that is what Joseph says, but I have long learned
that one can never really believe Joseph. He exaggerates like crazy.
The reason why I have
started this diary was because I need someone to complain too. James
and Belle have the ugliest little girl ever. Jaden and Elaine have
the ugliest little boy. With this kind of record I shudder to imagine
what Joseph and Rapunzel's child looks like. Mother will not let them
back, so I guess I will never know. Justin and Eleanor have twins,
that surprisingly, do not look to bad. But guess who has the job of
big loveable boring uncle babysitter? Yes, me! Four children, and
three of them boys. I have to take care of them all! I am terrified
that there will be more coming. In fact I know another one is coming.
Elise says they are all adorable. She must be addled somewhere. Elise
is my little sister. Jerome is my little brother. Neither of them are
married. Luckily for me, or I would obviously be invited to visit
them every other week and end up non-stop babysitting. Now before you
all die of boredom, I shall stop writing.
Day 2
Master Won is the most
annoying person I have ever known. He has taught all of my siblings
and myself how to dance. Only Elise, Jerome and I still take lessons
now. But anyway about Master Won. I have made a list of his most
annoying quirks.
- He is shorter then all of us. About 5' 3'' I think.
- He wears spectacles
- He talks with a stupid accent
- He thinks he is charming
- He has better manners then me
- He looks down on me
- He picks favorites
- He eats really slowly
- He wears perfume
- His dancing shoes are hideous.
I could go one, but I
believe I have made a point. Anyway, he has been trying to teach
Jerome the spin crack for five years now. Jerome stops listening
after the first five seconds. By the time Master Won has finished
demonstrating with either Elise or his assistant, Jerome will have
this glassy look in his eyes, and has just finished putting the
finishing touches on three different major battle plans, yet he can
remember nothing about the dancing. I learned it by watching it so
many times. UGH!
Day 3
My third day writing in my
diary of complaints. Imagine that. I have not quit yet. Perhaps there
is still hope for me. Anyway, today's complaints. Next to Master Won,
the worst person I know is Sir Patrono. First of all that is not a
name that can even be pronounced, secondly he is a first rate
foreigner who is an even bigger jerk. Here is my list if dislikes
about him.
- He brags about how amazing he is
- He thinks everyone in his rotten kingdom is better then me
- He is a foreigner
- He thinks I am a wimp
- He freaks out if anyone touches his precious sword
- Rants about the decline of the seven kingdoms
- Talks about the good old days nonstop (he cannot be much older then Jaden, what on Royaume is the good old days?)
Imagine that only seven
problems. I must admit Sir Patrono is better then Master Won. They
did not like each other. This morning, as Sir Patrono was coming out
of the stable with his precious sword, Master Won came mincing out of
the garden and tripped the knight. Sir Patrono fell flat on his face.
I must admit I laughed. Jerome said he would have laughed if it was
anyone else except Master Won tripping him. Jerome cannot stand the
dancing instructor. I must go now, because Jerome and Elise just shot
over the shrubbery, that means I have to babysit someone. Hopefully
not the little beast.
Day 4
Oh yes everyone, rejoice
another day to listen to my complaints. Sometimes, my dear diary, I
think you are my only friend! You certainly are the only one who
listens to me. Anyway, today Ben Horsemaster taught me how to ride
backwards on a horse. Why do I need to ride backwards on a horse?
When Jerome voiced this question, the horsemaster started roaring
with laughter. Obviously he thought something was hysterically funny
about it. It was not until Jerome and I both threatened to drown him
and all the horses, that he finally explained.
“If your horse is
galloping away from an enemy, and you have a bow, you can easily sit
backwards on the horse and shoot comfortably, instead of twisting
around into an uncomfortable precarious position.” he explained.
How dumb!
“Did you invent this new
miracle of a position?” Jerome asked, his voice dripping with
sarcasm.
“No, an old acquaintance
of mine.” Ben said coolly.
Oh, I forgot to give you my
list of grievances against the hysterical horsemaster. It will
probably be short, because I like him better then the others.
- He is always laughing and not sharing the joke
- He is a foreigner
- He thinks my beastly niece and nephews are adorable
- Sometimes he teaches us dumb things and thinks they are amazing
So you can see, he less of
a list then my other two teachers. But I still would prefer it if I
did not have to take any of these lessons. Father says if I am going
to rule his kingdom, I have to be smarter then all my brothers
combined. It is not fair. Jaden is the real heir. Why do I have to
rule in his place, just because Elaine's father had no sons, and made
him heir is hardly an excuse. I think he would be quite capable of
ruling two kingdoms.
I don't think it's boring at all it's really funny;)
ReplyDelete~Claire
Oh good! :D
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