The Diary of a NOT so Charming Prince part 5

The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince

Prince Joseph's diary

Day 10

Dear Very Happy Me,

Lasso and I took off for the forest at first light. I had to walk, because the stable was still locked. The lazy horse master was still snoring in bed! It of course would not do to awaken him up. He is half drunk all the time and would probably get me grounded again. After all everyone else has priorities when it comes to hurt feelings!

Unfortunately it took forever and then some to get to the forest. I mean the tower. I was already in the forest. The castle is in the forest. Actually all the land around here is in the forest, but that is hardly the point. Anyway, I went back to the tower. This time I was going up, and introducing myself. If Gothel happened to be around with her murderous pet, I could easily throw them into a rose bush. I think.

I marched up to the tower, picked up my stick and banged on the tower again. After all there is nothing like repeating yourself, when it went so well last time.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!” I yelled, “If you do I might even say thank you!” The girl with weird name, stuck her head out the window.

“You again?” she demanded.

“Is Gothel in?” I asked. Better be safe then sorry.

“Is that any of your business?” she asked. She sounded bitter.

“Actually, I just dropped by to say hello, and was wondering if my dog and I could come up for a visit?” I said. If Lolo was up there, I needed to have Lasso at my side. Rapunzel laughed. I scowled. Girls were rotten creatures.

“You could never get that creature up here!” she said. Girls have no faith in men.

“Lower your hair, and I will prove you wrong!” I retorted.

Well, surprisingly Rapunzel did lower her hair. GROSS! It was really hair! I have to touch a girl's hair! UGH! GROSS! I mean, however did she get hair long enough to use for a ladder! I smell really stinky magic here! Blew! I grabbed hold of that horrible stringy stuff and started climbing. She had wrapped the other end of her hair around a hook, to prevent her hair from being jerked out by its roots. I suppose that is pretty smart.

I finally slid through the window and found myself in the tower. The room we were in was a circular room, with a twisting staircase, then went both up and down. The walls were draped with huge curtains, which had been pulled back, revealing beautiful paintings. Forest and sky scenes. Not that I cared much for the fairies. Also there did not seem to be any men in the paintings.

“You did not bring the dog!” she informed me. DARN! I had it all planned. I was going to carry Lasso in one arm, while I hoisted myself up with my free hand. Touching the hair had distracted me.

“Hold on, I got it.” I said. I stood up and peered out the window. Then I grabbed hold of the braid and jiggled it. Lasso grabbed it and I started hoisting him up.

“Get that animal out of my hair!” Rapunzel cried. Lasso tried to growl at her. But by doing so, he had to let go of her hair. Bad luck!

“I guess you don't want to see the dog then.” I grumbled.

“Not in my hair!” she retorted.

There was an awkward pause. For those of you who do not know what an awkward pause is, it is when everyone stops talking and stares at each other. Usually one finds, all knowledge has left their minds and they cannot even remember their own name. I felt like that. She was staring at me, with one eyebrow raised. I was starting to feel creeped out, and wondered if it was my hair that was bothering her. I hadn't had it cut in awhile.

“So you must be a man.” Rapunzel said after I very nearly decided to jump out the window. Of course I was a man. What one Royaume was she thinking?

“Er- yes!” I said.

“Hmmm... you look nothing like the descriptions sister Gothel gave me.” she said, “Your teeth are as flat as mine.” WHAT? I began to edge away from her. Which unfortunately was in the opposite direction from the window. “Also your hair does not stick up on end.” she continued. I ran a hand through my thick and very messy hair. “You don't appear to have claws.” Had this woman never seen a man before? What kind of rubbish did her sister tell her. “Your eyes do not burn with evil fire.” WHAT? Evil fire? Either she is insane or Gothel is! “Your beard is not wild and bushy either!” I scowled. I did not really have a beard, more like a scraggly weak excuse of one. “All in all, I think I like you!” Why thank you ma'am!

I scowled at her. If it was possible, I would have made my eyes burn with evil fire and swiped her with my terrible claws.

“What is the outside world like?” she asked in a pleading voice, “I need to know! Mama and Gothel refuse to tell me.”

“Your mother is clearly insane!” I said loftily, “Your Gothely sister is obviously demented-” I froze, just out the tower window I could see Gothel and her possessed pet striding towards the tower. I grabbed Rapunzel's arm. She turned.

“Oh dear!” she said. I said something stronger.

“Quick, the back window!” Rapunzel cried, as she unwrapped her hair from the hook. Did she think I was really going to run from her awful hag sister and her disgusting pet? I punched open the shutters to the back window, and had one leg out it before Rapunzel came with her hair.

“Hurry, or I jump!” I ordered.

“I ought not to have let you in!” she moaned. To bad! I was totally coming back, as soon as possible. As I slid down the hair, I heard Gothel screeching for Rapunzel to let her in. Lasso came running to greet me, and the two of us took off as fast as we could.

Joseph the very brave