The Diary of a NOT so Charming prince, part 11

The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince

Prince Joseph's diary

Day 22

Dear awkward me,

Some people say that it is the worst thing to wake up to a long day of back braking work. These people are fools! There is definitely something worse! Something a hundred times worse. Do you want me to tell you what it is? Well, it is when you wake up and you are hanging upside down from a tree branch, which is hanging over a roaring waterfall. That is what is a hundred times worse. How I got there is no mystery of course, that horrible cabbage woman and her repulsive daughter Gothel trapped me here! I can hardly breathe. I am so uncomfortable. At least my hands are free, so I can write. You might say, why don't you just reach up and untie your feet? Well, have you ever been hanging by your feet about fifty feet in the air, upside down? If so, you would know how utterly impossible it is to get free. It is rather hard to write upside down too. I got ink splotches all over my face, and my writing never looked so bad.

(So you can picture the scene better)

Say, you know I can do here? I can bounce up and down and the branch shakes like crazy. Even the tree bends slightly. This is so much fun, I wonder if I could brake the branch off completely. That would be so much fun. It might lesson the boringness of the whole situation. I could even fall to my death. That would be so much less boring.

Joseph the still imprisoned and sick feeling prince

Day 23

Dear about to be freed me,

Have you ever slept hanging upside down from a tree branch? I didn't think so. Do you realize I am dying here? My brains have slowly leaked out of my ears over night, and my eyes are strained from caring my entire weight. I believe I must be having hallucinations too. Did you know people that have been on their head for two nights and a day with nothing to eat start hallucinating? Well guess what I saw climbing on the branch. I could have sworn it was Punz, who I shall now call Thorn, because reasons which are none of your business. Next to Punz Thorn was that annoying little robber midget, what's his name, ah yes, Rowan.

“Hold still sir.” Rowan said. Did you know that hallucinations could talk. Thorn barked at me. They bark too? How astonishing. Rowan tugged on the rope. The branch split and we all dropped into the water some fifty feet below us. What a joke! I love hallucinations, they are the best. But I could feel the pain just as well as if it really happened. I don't remember what it

Joseph the once more unconscious prince

Day 24

Dear very sick and possibly dying me,

I awoke and felt like someone had attempted to kill me. The pain was real. Thorn was standing over me barking wildly. My clothes were wet, and there was no sign of Rowan. Where was Rapunzel? Did Gothel and witch mama take her back to that horrible tower? I tried to sit up and my head started spinning. I lost three days worth of food, which was odd since I hadn't eaten in two days. My head was spinning and Thorn's barking was making my ears ache. I blinked a few times, and wondered where I was. My eyelids felt heavy as led. I closed them for a minute.

I awoke to find someone poking me. The shadows had lengthened and I knew more then a few hours had passed. Jerome and Eleanor were staring down at me.

“Oh lord of dragons, angels preserve us, king of heaven, someone, anyone, please tell me he isn't dead.” Jerome was babbling. I groaned.

“Jerome, dead people do not usually open and close their eyes.” Elanor cried. She knelt down beside me. “Can you move?” I choked, and tried to sit up. My head spun, quickly I lay down again.

“Nope.” I croaked.

“Jerome, run back for a few servants.” Eleanor ordered. She sounded calm and collected. Who knows, maybe she actually did this all the time. I lost interest in the proceedings again.

Once more I awoke. This time I was in my own bed. John was seated at my foot and Elise was fluttering about my head. Mother was directing the servants and there was a heavy, very damp cloth on my forehead.

“Water?” I croaked. Someone gave me a teaspoon of water. The beast. Then I remembered plunging down towards the churning water. I promptly threw up all the water, and then some of my insides.

I don't believe I shall write any more tonight. Yours truly, me.

Joseph the still sick prince

Day 25

Dear in desperate need of advice and feeling much better me,

Well, after another long terrible night, I believe I am on the path to recovery. Luckily no one has asked me what happened. All that rubbish about Thorn and a robber boy climbing a tree and jumping into the water with me, must have been an hallucination. But now that I am feeling much better, I am worrying non-stop about Rapunzel. Where is she? Did her cabbage selling mama harm her? Did she even try to save me?

After about two hours of worrying, instead of resting, I got out of bed. I was going to get some more advice. I felt dizzy and my stomach churned slightly, but I ignored it and staggered down to the older twins' bedchamber. Or the one that used to be theirs. I believe James and Belle had it now. When I entered, I found James sitting cross legged on the bed, sharpening a knife. He looked at me, then shot off the bed.

“What are you doing up?” he yelped and forced me to sit down on a chair.

“James, I need advice, real bad.” I said.

“Let me give you some.” he said sharply, “Get back in your bed and stay there until mother says you can get.”

“But I want to get married.” I wailed before I could bite my tongue. James sat down, forgetting that I was sitting in the chair.

“You what?” he squawked, “Who is this person?”

“Her name is Rapunzel, she has fourteen feet of hair, and her mama bought her for a pile of cabbage.” I said. Inwardly I cursed myself. That had sounded so much better in my mind.

“In that case, offer her mama cabbage for her hand.” James said. He was most certainly poking fun at me. I stood up.

“I just might do that.” I snapped and returned to my own bedchamber.

Joseph the very annoyed prince