The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince, part 13

The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince

Prince Joseph's diary

Day 29 that really is day 31

Dear Joseph,

On a side note here, my name is Rowan. Because of an awkward thing that happened two days ago, I am now writing for Joseph, as he is unable too. I shall first catch you up on what happened in those two days.

So Joseph says he went to the tower and banged his head against it. I mean he banged a stick against it. He just tried to strangle me! Well anyway, he starts hollering for his lady friend. She throws her gross disgusting pile of dirty blondness out the window. Can you believe how stupid this person is? He actually climbed the disgusting stuff! I would rather have died. Much rather.

Well, he says, that when he reached the top, there was no girl attached to the other end of the braid. Believe me when I say, I would have jumped right back out the window. But Joseph was obviously too dumb for that. He says he grabbed the end of the braid and started screaming for the lady. Then a blond witch, the same one that supposedly bought my sister for a bellyful of cabbage, grabbed him and stabbed his eyes out with a thorn, then she threw him out the tower. This woman is sick! Definitely a witch! I mean who goes around and stabs random boys in the eyes with thorns! Revolting! She then proceeded to toss him out of the tower.

So Joseph lay at the foot of the tower for a long time, with no eyes and a broken leg. He was in really bad shape. Poor man! I almost feel sorry for threatening him the other time we met. Almost, but not quite.

Signing with a flourish,

Rowan Thief's boy

Day 30 which is still actually day 31

Dear still very much blind prince,

I just found out Joseph is a prince. This is rather awkward. Well, maybe I shall be less rude in my entries. Prince's have a way of getting over there difficulties, it would be terrible if he got his sight back and read what I wrote.

Anyway, after the prince lay at the foot of the tower with his broken leg, possibly broken arm and bad eyes, all night, he finally came too, and got up. He says he wandered around for quite some time, without any clue of where he was going. He wept and moaned for his lost love, the pain was nothing to him compared with the pain of loosing her. On a side note, I think she is actually my sister, the one father exchanged for the cabbage.

Oh great, Joseph is grabbing me by the neck again. He wants me to write that he did not spend a whole day weeping for Rapunzel. He says she is probably in better shape then him. My, he is really unromantic! I am disgusted. Well, that is all that happened on day thirty. Hmm.. I wonder why it is day thirty. What happened on day one? Hang on a second, I will ask Joseph.

Guess what this crazy prince said happened? He said on day one the important thing was, that he started this diary! How come I did not think of that?

Signing with a flourish,

Rowan Thief's boy

Day 31 which is really the right date

Dear sad prince,

So something really important happened to our dear prince Joseph today. Today was the day my uncle Gastiff and I found the poor fellow wandering around and basically starving to death. Now he is in a cave. His leg and arm bound up nicely, and hot food in his belly. He even has a bandage around his eyes. Father says if he lasts one more day he will survive. Now that is a pleasant thought.

The first thing Joseph did once he had been patched up, was to ask me, bright boy that I am, to write for him in his journal. This is so much more fun then running through the forest and setting snares. Besides, he cannot stop me if I steal his food.

Oh whoops, I am supposed to be writing what he dictates. He wants me to write, that the floor is to hard, the bandages to scratchy, and that there is a filthy smell in the air. What can I say? Princes are known for complaining. Besides I have to agree with him. I wonder if father and uncle Gastiff will make him pay for food, lodgings, and doctoring? Should I tell father, that the girl he threatened to hang is really my sister? No, I will not, he is already in a foul mood. Joseph brings up that rope every five seconds. I think if father had really tried to hang the him or Rapunzel, Joseph would have killed him. Princes are also know for their swordsmanship. Anyway, lets see what tomorrow brings.

Signing with a flourish,

Rowan Thief's boy