The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince, part 14

The Diary of a Not So Charming Prince

Prince Joseph's diary

Day 32

Dear Joseph,

Well you dear prince sat staring at the fire today, a fairy appeared. She was dressed all in blue and looked smug. Father fell flat on his face and started babbling about how he only stole to support his dying family. The liar! Joseph stood up, and screeched at the fairy to give him his eyesight back. Good Grief! How could he dare yell at a fairy? He must be mostly stupid! We all expected her to turn him into a frog. Instead she told him the cure was at hand, but that you must seek her out again and find hidden love. Then she disappeared. Joseph, you started crying. Men do NOT cry! What is your problem?

Once the fairy had vanished, father got up and grabbed Joseph by the shoulders and started shaking him.

“Listen prince.” he bellowed, “If we help you find the cure, then will you have us pardoned for disturbing your gracefulness?” The prince sneered at my father. I could hardly blame him.

“Find me the cure.” was all he said out loud. It's most astonishing watching ten grown and almost illiterate thugs pouring over bejeweled books looking for the way to cure one crazy prince. I could have saved them the pain by telling them that the books were about manners, fashions, and foreign countries. The usual trash you steal from travelers. Not remedy books. But it was to amusing.

Rowan Thief's boy

Day 33

Dear Joseph,

Well, the crazy prince finally had enough. He got up today and said we could all go to the fiery place, and that he was off on his own. He left this silly little book in my hand. So I grabbed my slingshot and ran after him.

“Rowan!” father screeched after me, but I forgot to reply.

“Stop following me!” Joseph screeched, drowning out father's voice.

“I'm not.” I told him stiffly, “You just left your book behind.” he sighed.

“Well?” he asked.

“What?”

“Will you?

“Will I what?”

“Will you keep writing and being my eyes?”

“Yes!” Oh man, this is going to be so much fun. I am off on an adventure with a blind prince, to seek out a fairy, a cure and a love. What could get more exciting then that?

Rowan Thief's boy

Day 34

Dear Joseph,

I am used to wild living, but the nutty prince makes it more wild. Joseph is killing me. How can a blind spoiled young man go taring through the countryside, through forests, through rivers, through anything and still live? UGH! I woke up this morning shivering. What new deaths was this prince dreaming of defying today. Surely not tree hopping. I did that once, but it was not a blind man leading me. Well, guess who just got up? I knew you would never guess. It is the prince, of course.

“Morning Rowan.” he told a tree on his other side. I am rolling my eyes now. “I decided, fairies have got to hide somewhere that people do not like, so I figured we should look for a cave.” I did not have the heart to tell him that the only cave in the forest or for hundreds of miles around it, was the one my father and the rest of the gang lived in.

“You will fail.” I told him kindly.

I am sure there is a saying somewhere, that if fools and wise men cannot do it, by all means send a blind man to get the job done. Well, that saying applies to me, right now. I told Joseph he would fail, and guess what he found? Some people are just determined to prove you wrong. The annoying prince found a cave!

“A cave?” I screeched, sounding like an annoying little girl, who has just been given a cute little baby doll.

“Where? Where?” Joseph yelled. Idiot! He was the one who found it. How annoying can one person get?

“Right there in front of you!” I retorted. Joesph bounded forward and ran into the wall.

It was cold damp and ugly in the cave. Not to mention at least a hundred and five bats were flying in there. It was nothing like my cozy little thief cave. Also, I feel the need to mention that there was a woman in there. A creepy black haired woman, who was holding some kind of hairless little beast. Joseph was groping around, one hand clutching at his face, and was going to walk right into her knife. She had a big butcher knife pointed right at his heart. I will admit, she scared me. I was ready to run. Joseph stopped one fraction of an inch from the knife and looked all around. His eyes seeing nothing. The small beast let out a yap. The prince jumped and knocked his head against the ceiling.

“Gothel!” he screeched, “Murderous mullet mouth!” I am not sure what a mullet mouth is, but I think it fits this Gothel person, quite well.

“Well, well, if it is not prince Joseph.” she sneered, “Your horse is gone, your dog is gone, your eyes are gone, your girl is gone, you have nothing!” Joseph pushed me behind him. That surprised me. He did not strike me as the chivalrous type.

“Polo is waiting for me at home!” Joseph shouted, “He is all comfortable in his stable!” Gothel sneered.

“You wish.” she said.

“Thorn- I mean Dog is at this moment fetching my brothers to rescue me!” he shouted. I was surprised. Really? I thought his dog's name was Punz or something lame like that.

“What about your eyes?” Gothel sneered, “I would love to hear how you plan to get out of that?”

“I have my ways!” Joseph said mysteriously, “I have already been told there is a cure and I am currently fetching it.” Gothel looked pained. I smirked.

“What about your love?” she asked, after an awkward silence.

“She is currently rotting with your mama witch in the tower.” he said, “And just as soon as I get my eyesight back, I am off to rescue her.” Well, this is awkward and mushy.

“But what is to prevent me from killing you first?” Gothel asked, her teeth flashing in the semi-darkness. I shuddered.

“This!” Joseph shouted. He raised his stick, and hit the roof. There was an avalanche. Rocks came rumbling down. I barely had time to grab his shirt and drag him backwards, before there was a solid wall between us and Gothel. I am kind of annoyed. How did he know that would work?

Rowan Thief's boy